Jim's Peace Corps Blog: Foreword to an International Incident

You know what's a LOT scarier than you might think?

2010-01-18T18:04:00.002+01:00

Having a chicken hiding in your house and not realizing it.

NOTE: Real sorry to anyone who was offended by my language in this post. I basically copied it from an email to a friend and forgot to edit it properly. I try to keep the language on here as clean as possible so my family and friends can enjoy it and I'm sorry for the slip-up. Anyway, back to the story.

I was jogging a few days ago at my village's school. I left my front door open (won't repeat this mistake) but I looked my outer gate door. Only reason I even left the door open was because I was right next door at the high school. No one can get into my house if the outer gate is locked (its like a 10 foot high wall with glass shard on top) but chickens can (and often do) sneak under the gate door and dick around in my lawn.

I guess one sneaked into my house and secreted itself somewhere in either the back room or maybe under some furniture. My house has lots of like mice and probably bird and other rodent type animals living in the roof, so I'm used to various scratching noises. I more or less tune them out. Which is, I guess, why I didn't notice the chicken.

Later, in the middle of that night, I walked into my kitchen to get a glass of water. The lights were all out but there was a full moon and you could see silhouettes of furniture, etc. I look into my living room to see if the power was on (by looking at the light on my surge protector) and all of a sudden this like basketball sized, reptilian-in-its-movement, shadow runs like right towards me. I totally FREAKED out and booted the thing across my living room. I was able to turn the lights on right after that but when that thing charged me my heartbeat must have gone up to like 170.

Took me another like 20 minutes to get the thing out of my house too. T.I.A, man.

5 Months Later: Still Alive and Kickin'

2010-01-05T11:34:00.005+01:00

Even I feel a little bad letting five months go by and not posting anything. But again, as I've said in earlier posts, living in Cameroon has slowly but surely just because "life as usual" for me and things that would have seemed worthy of a blog post 12 months ago don't seem that way anymore. Sorry about that, because I know a lot of you enjoy reading this. So now that I've actually done some traveling and have some stories to tell you, I hope you'll all stop threatening me via phone/email/Facebook. And in a related story, I really need to compliment the fine ladies of the Carpluk clan. Yall can guilt trip like none other. Without further ado, here's a few stories for you:

So for the holidays this year, I decided I would do some traveling. I've lived in the West province for my entire 19 months in Cameroon. I was trained in Bangangte and eventually moved to Babadjou. I've also visited the Northwest and Southwest provinces, as I live right near the borders. I have also seen the Central and the Littoral provinces because we have Peace Corps offices and hold seminars in those regions. So as of December 2010, I had seen 5 of the 10 provinces. My original plan for the holidays was to see the East, the Adamoua, the North, and the Extreme North provinces. That isn't exactly what ended up happening, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. I left Babadjou after finishing with classes the week before Christmas and spent a night there before leaving for the East. I was really excited to get out there because three of my closest friends live in that province and I rarely get to see them. However, my time in Yaounde had me a little less excited about heading up north after the East. I started to think about the following things 1) It's like 2 days of NON-STOP travel to make it all the way to the Extreme North 2) This is the coolest season of the year, but its still going to be near 100 degrees 3) There was going to be very limited sleeping room since about 40 other volunteers were traveling north to celebrate New Years up there. Anyway, when I left the Peace Corps offices I was contemplating just skipping the northward part of my journey but I decided that if my friends out east wanted to go, I'd go with them.

I left Yaounde for Bertoua (the capital of the East Province) on Sunday and overall it was a comfortable ride. I had to wait three hours for the bus to leave but once it did the roads were mostly paved and I arrived before dark. I met up with two girls, leaving that night to make the trip up north, and my friends Joe and Trevor, who were traveling with me the next day. We had drinks and dinner and all around a nice night.*

The next day Joe, Trevor, and I got on what is affectionately known as a "prison bus." It basically looks like half of a school bus, painted blue, but with no glass windows, just bars. Honestly, it's just about the worst way you could possibly imagine to travel along dirt roads in the dustiest time of year. If you don't have something to cover your mouth/face with then you're gonna feel like a coal miner at the end of the day. We took this loathsome automobile to our friend Nik's post (I have no idea how to spell it, but I'll make ONE attempt here: Nguelemandouka. Phonetically: Gal-uh-man-dook-uh).

The roads to the Dooks are nothing like they are to Bertoua. They are completely unpaved and completely horrifying. For the first leg of the trip (80 km) I was in the backseat eating dirt and losing the feeling in my legs. Being in the back sucks because you're crammed in a row built for 4 with 6 other people and there's just a constant fog of dust flowing through the open windows. After we stopped off for a short break, Trevor kindly switched places with me and I rode up in the cabin with Joe for the last 45 km. Whatever I gained in physical comfort, I lost in mental quiescence. I cannot tell you how terrifying it was sitting in that front seat for that last 40k. The first leg of the trip, you're essentially on a two lane road, as crappy of a road as it may be. For the last leg, you're riding a bus on a bike path. And a twisty bike path at that. There are times when the bus is moving down a hill into a blind curve and the ONLY THING thats keeping you alive is that there's nothing on the other side of that bend. Because at the speed you're going down the hill you're taking on the roads you're driving there is just literally no way to stop the bus fast enough to avoid a head-on collision if another car is coming. I know it sounds like I'm probably exaggerating. But truly I am not. This conversation occurred between me and Joe in the front seat at about the halfway point of the second leg (and keep in mind Joe is one of the toughest kids I know):

Me: So... These roads are pretty insane, huh?
Joe: Yeah, I was just thinking that.
Me: It's like there's nothing to do but hope that there's no other car on the road.
Joe: Really, it's best not to think about it because...

And at this point the road got even narrower and Joe just cut off in mid-sentence as we both glared wide-eyed out the windshield and didn't say another word for about 10 minutes until the driving got a little less stressful. Afterwords we both laughed at how we were both simultaneously overcome with the freakish dangerousness of the trip we were taking. I'll tell you this now, I love Nik and I had a FANTASTIC time at his village but I will likely never go out there again for fear of having to make that drive.

Anyway, onto the Dooks. If you know Nik at all you won't be surprised to hear that Nik knows everyone in his village well and he's basically a grand there. Everywhere we'd go Nik would have more people to introduce us to and invite us over to eat at one time or another. It was a great time. Nik's post is a lot like mine in that it lacks a lot of the amenities (no running water, no consistent electricity, etc) but I have to say that I would not have been able to entertain 3 guests for 5 days as well as Nik did during our time there. It was a real blast. There are a lot of stories to tell but here are the highlights:

1) I ate vers blancs, or as most of you know them, grubs. Really not as bad as you'd think. but also not particularly good. I'm glad I tried them, but I doubt I'll ever have a grub craving. The one I ate was cooked well and was crunch and spicy. I chose not to eat one of the larger (read: HUMONGOUS) ones, though a Cameroonian told me that the big ones are just like chewing gum. Yum.
2) I learned to open a beer bottle with my teeth.
3) If you hand we a well-cooked chicken, I can now eat the entire animal. Bones and all. Gotta credit Joe for talking me into trying this one, but the bones are actually really easy to get into and the marrow is surprisingly delicious.
4) Some village children showed me how to hold an extinguished, but still smoldering, match in my mouth with my teeth and make my mouth glow like a jack-o-lantern. This is actually really cool looking and I can't wait to get drunk and injure myself trying this one at a bar back home.

Christmas was really great. We woke up and the four of us exchanged gifts and drank Irish coffee and palm wine and just had a really nice morning taking it easy and celebrating with Nik's neighbors. I'd glad that my last Christmas in Cameroon was spent with good friends in a great village. I'll look back happily on my noel at the Dook's for years to come.

After Christmas we were supposed to catch the train up to the North but we all decided we didn't want to deal with the travel (or spend any more money than we already had... Good God did I spend a lot of cash this vacation). So we just spent a couple extra days in Bertoua (again, the capital and main city in the East). Ate some good food, drank some good beer, and just took it easy for the last half of the vacation. It was a blast and I'm really glad I got to get out there. I might try to go see Joe and Trevor's posts out in April, we'll see.

I hope this post was substantial enough for everybody. If anything interesting comes up I'll make another post. I'm waiting to hear back from law schools so I'll probably post once I make a decision about where I'll be attending in Fall 2010. I hope everyone had a happy holidays and I miss you all sincerely. I'll be home in just about 5 months and I can't wait to see everybody.

*See me for details on just smoothly the night went

Wow I haven't posted in a long time.

2009-08-13T10:11:00.002+01:00

I've really been derelict when it comes to this blog. First post in 2 months and first post with any real substance in 4. Sorry about that. I've been wildly busy over the past three months or so. Organizing the new Peace Corps Trainee training program at TOT/TDW, travelling to Yaounde for mid-service training and health check-ups, three week European vacation with the family and some friends, and then traveling to Bangangte to help train the new class of volunteers. I feel like I've been in my village for 20 minutes for the whole summer.

Where to begin? Well, my trip to Europe was fantastic. I got to see my friends and family for the first time in over a year and obviously that was special for me. I'm glad we did Europe instead of having me fly home because I think it would have been too difficult for me to re-adjust to the United States for a few weeks only to have to re-adjust to Cameroon after I got back. Meeting on the continent was a nice middle ground.

Mom, Dad, Jessi and I hung around London and Paris for 10 days or so. Doing all the touristy stuff like the double-decker red bus tours and such. I had a blast. Dad put us up in two of the nicest hotels I've ever seen. Going from tiny ass Babadjou to 4-star hotel living was such a welcome shock. I forgot how clean life can be. Spending time with the family was perfect. Lots of drinking and eating and arguing: Business as usual, exactly as I'd hoped. It was sad saying goodbye for the second time but it's only for another 10 months or so before I'm home for good, so that tempered the emotions a little.

After the family left, Billy, Kunal, and I went from Paris to Brussels to Amsterdam back to Paris. My lawyers have informed me that it's in my best interest not to discuss Amsterdam in any form that can be catalogued and used against me in future litigation. Sooo... Man, Brussels was awesome! What an underrated city. Quaint and clean and oh-so-cheap after a week in Paris and London. I tasted a beer there that was advertised as having won an international competition as 'The Best Beer in the World.' Obviously, one's a little skeptical after reading such a claim, but I gave it a try. I'm no beer expert, but I can tell you this: It definitely isn't NOT the best beer in the world. I recommend giving Delirium Cafe's 'Delirium Tremens' a taste if you're ever in Brussels.

Oh, another funny thing about Brussels. The metro system is on the honor system. You buy a ticket, but no one checks it. Apparently sometimes they have random inspectors come through and check to see if you have one, but thats it. I love Europe.

- Back to Africa -

Helping with the new training group has been a lot of fun. The new stagieres are incredibly hard working and really make our Ed/SED stage look like a bunch of drunks. They take their work seriously and I have no doubt that they'll do great things for Peace Corps Cameroon. It's sort of funny being in the role of teacher/trainer since I've only been here a year and I'm just now starting to get a grasp of things, but I hope I've been able to give some good tips and make some stagieres feel more comfortable teaching/living in Cameroon. I remember how stressful stage was and in 2008 we were lucky to have some great PCV trainers who were hugely helpful in getting us through the whole 13 weeks in one piece.

Getting ready to take the LSAT at the end of the month in September. This is take two, as last time we tried things sort of fell through on the Cameroonian end so they cancelled the test. With any luck I'll be applying to schools in October and I'll know where I'm going by the time I get home. I'm applying mostly in NYC, but I'll probably also apply to George Washington,North Carolina, and maybe some others depending on my LSAT score. I'll keep you all posted.

Sorry for the long break between posts, I'll try and get back on here again sometime soon. Thanks for reading... and Go Yanks!

Halftime

2009-06-17T09:22:00.004+01:00

I've been in Cameroon for 376 days now. That's pretty wild because it feels like just a couple of months ago that I was getting off the plane. The idea that I have less time here ahead of me than I have behind me is mind-blowing. I've seen things and met people that would have otherwise never entered my life and I wouldn't change a second of it. That said, I'm so excited to be 2 weeks away from flying to Europe to see my family and some buddies from college. A few weeks of modern civilization will be a welcome repose.

I haven't posted a blog since 1974 (roughly) so I feel like I owe you guys some substance. First things first, here's a fun little bingo card of common diseases amongst PCVs that the Albins made. I have been lucky (knock on wood) compared to other PCVs, but even I've had six of these maladies. Guess which six and win a prize! (Prize may be subject to non-existence)

We're here for Mid-Service right now, which is essentially a intensive health check up at the one year mark that all PCVs have to undergo. It involves a lot of pooping into small receptacles to be tested at a lab. Never have you seen more fully-grown, mature (some less than others) adults discussing the technical intricacies of defecating into a container the size of a film canister. If there was a chalkboard here, we'd have been sharing diagrams.

I have to go to the lab to get blood drawn in a bit, but I have a good story about a magical bush taxi ride that I'll post later this week before I go and help with the training.

I use a lot of ellipses in this post...

2009-04-28T20:20:00.009+01:00

So I haven't forgotten that I have this blog, as much as it might seem like I have. I've just been wildly busy and completely uninterested in updating this thing. I'm taking the LSAT in approximately 40 days and I've been spending just about every moment I can spare practicing for it. I tell you what... if after June 8th I never have to play another logic game for the rest of my life, I'll die a happy, happy man.

If all right handed baseball players wear even-numbered jerseys and all left handed baseball players wear pinstriped jerseys, then how many pitchers are also available to play first base?
A) 3 B) 4 C) 5 D) Kill yourself.

But I'm making some headway and I think all the effort is paying off, so I've got that going for me... Which is nice.

Classes are wrapping up. I'd give you an exact date as to when I finish up classes but there really isn't one. It's sorta just when my students stop showing up to class. I'll probably be done within two weeks. I'm pretty sure a few of my friends in the North are already finished. The national educational system is just that organized.

Once classes are finished and I've got the LSAT out of the way I'm still swamped. I've got some secondary projects I'm looking to get off the ground, I'm going to be helping out with training the new group of volunteers coming in June, and then finally... mercifully... I'm going to Europe for a couple of weeks with family and friends. I can't even tell you how much I'm looking forward to it. I probably won't leave the McDonalds in Heathrow until I've eaten 2 or 3 of everything off the menu. I think I'm gonna get to play golf in London and Paris too, which is wildly exciting. I miss my weekly round of golf so much it's almost irrational. I actually dream about golf some nights.

I've been trying to take care of my mice problem. So far I've got 7 notches on my belt and I gotta tell ya, I feel bad about every one. You hear 'mice' and you think 'rodent' or 'vermin' or 'pestilence' but when you're house is actually infested with the and you've gotta see the damn things all the time... You realize just how cute the little bastards are. Seriously every time I catch one I just want to train it to sing and make dresses like in Cinderella instead of doing what I actually do... Go outside and throw the little sonuvabitch as far as I can over my fence. That way I don't feel like I'm killing them. It's in God's hands at that point. I bet that exact same defense has been used in any number of trials in the Hague*. Really I wouldn't even set traps for them if they weren't crapping all over my house. I haven't had a house this unsanitary since I stopped living with Randy and Kunal.

UPDATE - Oddly enough, in the time it took me to write up this whole post, I caught number 8. May their tiny little mouse deity forgive my sins.

Things are going well on the volunteer front. We're about to kick off our Moto project with the HIV/AIDS prevention conference next weekend. Very excited about all that. Much less excited about the presentation I have to give in French during said convention. But hey, c'est la vie.

Anyway that's all I can think to write about. Except that I'm gonna be super pissed if the western hemisphere is wiped out by swine flu before I get to go to Europe. Seriously people, get your act together. I get the impression though that this is another one of those SARS/bird flu scares that never actually turn into anything in countries where people have toilets and soap and real hospitals and such. I'm crossing my fingers.

I'll probably update in the next couple of weeks after our convention and let yall know how it went. I know you're all tingling with anticipation.

---

* I actually googled to find out if it was 'at' or 'in' the Hague.

PS - I just realized as I'm writing this that I haven't made a post since a certain college basketball team won a certain national championship.

TARRRRRRRRRR!!!
HEEEEEEEEEELS!!!

For those of you keeping score at home *cough*AuntieMUncleBenThomasBenMaximus*cough* since 2005 Carolina has won two national championships, been to three final fours and four elight eights while Dook hasn't been past the Sweet 16. But hey, who's counting? I AM. Never graduate. Okay that's enough gloating...

Who am I kidding? Of course it isn't! To finish the post off... Here is perhaps my favorite picture ever starring perhaps my favorite Tar Heel ever... Half Man/Half Amazing... Air Canada... The Human Highlight Reel... Vinsanity... Vincent Lamar Carter:

It doesn't hurt having Julius, Antawn, or Mahktar in there either. Also, reports indicate that Vince stopped watching with any intensity and really half-assed his applause for the entire second half.

So close! Thanks to all of you who've donated!

2009-04-11T16:58:00.003+01:00

Little mini-update: We're about at our goal for the Moto project! We're about $600 short as of this post so anyone out there who hasn't donated yet... any little bit counts! I'm blown away by all of your generosity, helping us to raise around $5500 dollars in around three weeks.

And I'm sorry I've been so lax on the blog. I promise to do a legit update tomorrow about the arrival of the rainy season and various other things. Thanks again

Donate more money here! The amount you donate is directly proportional to how good of a person you are. It's science.

Beep Your Horn for HIV Prevention (AKA Show me the money)

2009-03-17T10:17:00.007+01:00

I'm working with other volunteers in the West Province on an HIV/AIDS education conference next month. We're targeting motorcycle taxi drivers. Moto drivers are usually young men (20s to early 30s) who make up a sizable portion of the population and have unfettered access to the people of the village/town/city. This mobile population is highly implicated in both the transmission and prevention of HIV, and yet it is often overlooked when it comes to HIV prevention education. Imagine doing a nation-wide college lecture circuit on the dangers of binge drinking... but not inviting any of the frat houses to attend.

Anyway, if you'd like more information about the project or to make a donation (any small amount would be hugely appreciated) then just follow this link to the donation form.

Also if you guys could, in the comments section, mention that you saw this on jimeroon.blogspot.com so I can properly thank you guys after all the money is in. Thanks again and God bless you all.

PS - To all Brownings and Carpluks and their respective offshoots - Now's your chance to prove just how much you love me. I promise that the aunt/uncle/cousin/grandparent who donates the most will become my favorite family member. And I'll visit you when you're old and boring and we can talk about the humidity and how kids today don't know how good they've got it.

And if it's my parents then I'll just continue to be an unwavering source of pride and all-around perfect son. Dad, remember how you'd always make me finish my dinner because of the starving kids in Africa? Well guess what, those starving kids grew up. And now they're giving each other HIV. Here's our chance to help.

Get excited, Ma. Two posts in one month.

2009-03-10T17:55:00.003+01:00

A couple funny things happened to me this weekend so I thought I'd share them here. I went to a wedding on Saturday night with Cook and had a blast. So I didn't know about the wedding until before we left, so I show up wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. Ultra classy, I know. I don't think they took it as an affront, though. I say this because when we arrived at around 9 PM, we were seated right next to the groom and his blushing bride. And I mean that literally, the bride looked very young and very nervous. Happy, though.

So we're talking and enjoying the traditional group dances by the women folk and just having an all around good time. Neither of us had eaten dinner and we were both starved by the time they brought out the tables. We were served at around 10:30 (Only the bride and groom ate before us) and it was an absolute FEAST. The groom is a private chef and homeslice went all Wolfgang Puck on the situation. Apparently most of the fare was Brazilian, but it all struck me as very German... So yeah take from that what you will.

After the delicious Ger-zilian fare, two women came out and started to clear all the plates and empty cups and such. The groom comes over to me and very proudly tells me that the two women clearing the table were his first two wives. I'm sorry but that &%$# is funny to me. This is far from my first interaction with polygamy in Cameroon and I'm not trying to speak out against it. I'm just tickled at the idea of having to bus tables at your husband's third wedding. Do you think he tipped? Seriously though, polygamy is a common enough practice in Cameroon and I'm past the point where I'll try and speak out against it. It's just a cultural thing. Besides, I don't really need to try and turn people away from it. Polygamy has its own inherent punishment. Two wives! Hiyooooo!*

The other thing I wanted to write about were these bootleg DVDs that they sell here in Bamenda. They sell all kinds of TV show seasons (mostly dramas, American comedy doesn't always translate well) and tons of DVDs with 40-50 full length movies compressed onto them. Interestingly enough, a lot of them are advertised as being printed on TDK brand DVDs. For those of you that don't know, that's my Dad's old company. Unsurprisingly, none of the TDK DVDs I've bought have actually worked. The best part of these things though is that they all come from China and have little blurbs and stuff on the back in horribly engrish. Check out this description of Season 6 of Friends:

Ross and Rachel get up last night after the marriage completely forgotten the absurd things. Breakfast, ask friends, the two waken ip from their dream, decide to settle in New York after the abolition of marriage. Rachel Ross Please rest assured that the matter would be entirely his dishes, but he has gone back on his word. Germany, and Monica all the money for their own marriage he, Lanshan, but not exports. If the combination of the two is predestined, and there should be signs? Sign one after another, but they still refuses to recognize life. Finally money Talk proposed cohabitation. Joey Fabian took over the food supply trucks, Fabian convince motorists to go home with him. He promised trip will be fun, but Along the way, most of the time he fell asleep.

I want to send all of my future blog posts to this company so they can translate them into Chinese and then back into this Engrish mess.

Next time, on Jim's Peace Corps Blog: Foreword to an International Incident!

Africa long time has kept Jameson Whiskey back and forth between his villagers. But this weekend beach plans for golfing because a break needed is what he has. After returns, Jim begins to finish school his students study but fare well on the exams will they? Who could tell. He plans to Europe with Jessica parents this summer coming, but firstly helps with training he will be Peace Corpse 2009.

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But yeah so I'm taking the weekend off to release some stress and see the Southwest again. I'll let you know how that plays out but I probably wouldn't expect another update until April. Go Heels!

*Did I already make that joke on this blog? Perhaps. But hey it's a classic.

You can't make this stuff up. (Also a note to the Newcomers)

2009-03-03T08:46:00.005+01:00

First things first: A handful of you folks coming in on the new stage in June 2009 have contacted me through my blog here and there. I'm more than willing to help you out as much as I'm able. Problem is, if you contact me through the blog, I have no way of getting back to you. So drop me a line at jrb.pcv@gmail.com so I can reply back to you. If you've already asked me a question, shoot it over to my email so I can get back to you directly. Thanks and get excited, Cameroon is an awesome country.

Now for a little mini-update: I don't know what it is, but for some reason strange things always happen to me when I'm trying to bathe au Cameroun. As you probably already know, I'm without running water. As a result, I get mon eau by sending kids out with these big yellow jugs that I have to fetch it from a source of which I'd probably rather remain ignorant. Case in point: the other day my buddies Boris and Jordan come back with two bidongs full of water. I give them a bit of food money and send them off. After locking up I fill up my bucket with water and disrobe for a bucket bath. I start singing showtunes and dip my hands in the bucket to commence when what do I see...

A prodigious pack of polliwogs. There had to be a dozen or two tadpoles just loving life in my bathtub. After months of bush taxis* and Cameroonian "customer service," my threshold for annoyance has reached a level previously unheard of for a Browning male. All I could do is laugh. In June, or maybe even in August I would have tossed the water. But the sun was going down and I felt particularly grimy that day, so I just fished the little buggers out and lathered up. C'est la vie.

In case you were wondering, all tadpoles are currently alive and thriving in a water bottle out in my backyard. I'm hoping to farm them and grow them into frogs big enough to eat. Am I kidding? I might be kidding. (I'm not kidding).

*Part 2: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Mbouda

Okay so I guess this update isn't going to be as mini as I thought. But I figured you'd enjoy this story too, if only out of schadenfreude.

So I'm making my merry way to Mbouda to pick up some odds and ends. The taxi I took was particularly packed. Four up front including the driver, six in the back including myself. Two were about 10 or 11 years old sitting on their mother's laps. The smell of palm wine or raffia or whatever was pungent... It stung the nostrils. I'm not gonna lie it smelled like pure gasoline. Actually, that's inaccurate. Raffia/palm wine smells like a mixture of gasoline, rotten salad dressing, and body odor. Although that last bit may have just been the bouquet of the nine perspiring Cameroonians in the car with me. Regardless of its source, the smell of this vehicle was... incapacitating.

Anyway, I'm sitting with a tissue over my nose trying to filter out the funk, when I look to my right and see the woman next to me holding on to four thumb-sized beetles, squirming feebly in her grasp. I'm not exaggerating about how huge they were either. If beetles had theme parks, these guys would have been "This Tall!" enough to ride the roller coasters. So being a total schmuck, I venture to ask the woman "Ces sont pour qoui?" (Basically 'what the hell are you going to do with those?!" in my awful French) She laughs at me, picks out out one of the four (who we'll call Kenny) and bites the poor bastard in half. I sat there with my jaw dropped and my stomach turning while the rest of women in the back seat just laughed at me.

I really thought I'd vomit. Stan, Kyle, and Cartman were still squirming away, the oppressive heat, the smell of rancid Hidden Valley ranch in the air... But somehow I kept it together and did my best to laugh along at my naivete with the mamas.

The kid sitting on his mother's lap to my left wasn't so lucky.

I've seen projectile vomit in my day. I mean, I went to college. I did my share of binge drinking. I've seen acts of regurgitation that were worthy of note. Remember the time Veliz puked on our rug sophomore year and I had to cut a 2'x2' hole out of the middle of it with a pocket knife? Well, little homie to my left put Danny Boy to shame. This was straight Exorcist stuff right here. Sparing you all the details, the shear volume and velocity of this kid's emission had just about everybody in the damn vehicle sporting some spew. I mean everybody. I'm pretty sure some got in the glove box, don't ask me how. How this didn't start one of those epic "Oh-my-god-he-just-puked-now-I'm-gonna-puke-oh-my-god-now-he's-puking-now-we're-all-puking" scenes is beyond me. We pulled over and cleaned ourselves off as best as we could with twigs and grass and stuff.

At this point I was pretty much done with the expedition. I decided to just hoof it back home. It took me about an hour to walk it, and I was pretty tired by the time I got back. It had been a really hot day and I probably walked 3-4 miles back home in the noon heat. All I wanted was a glass of water. Of course, however, my water filter was empty. So in my exhaustion, I had to hump it out back and fill it up with some of my reserve water. I carry the filter back into the kitchen, and it just so happened that I took a peek inside before I put the cover back on.

It was full of tadpoles.

FML

The Fresh Air Fund

2009-03-01T07:32:00.001+01:00

A representative from the Fresh Air Fund asked me to write a blog about the programs they offer and the need for hosts, staff members, camp counselors etc. which I am more than happy to. (even though I copied most of it off their website). I was first introduced to the program when a neighbor hosted a child through the Fresh Air Host Fund Family. There are several other programs that Fresh Air organizes, here's some information about that you might find of interest:

Since 1877, The Fresh Air Fund, a not-for-profit agency, has provided free summer vacations in the country to more than 1.7 million New York City children from disadvantaged communities. Each year, thousands of children visit volunteer host families in 13 states and Canada through the Friendly Town Program or attend one of five Fresh Air Fund camps.

Each summer, 3,000 children enjoy themselves at one of the five Fresh Air camps in upstate New York. They are now accepting applications for counselors for this coming summer of '09. They hire staff members with a wide range in some pretty amazing fields. Fresh Air Fund is looking for college-aged men and women who love to work with children.

For more information please visit this website
http://freshairfundcounselors.smnr.us/

Carolina 101 - Dook 87

2009-02-12T06:00:00.001+01:00

I don't know if my Aunt Mary Ellen, my Uncle Ben, and their heathen dookie children (miss you guys) check this blog at all, but just in case they do:

Hark the sound of Tar Heel voices
Ringing clear and true.
Singing Carolina's praises.
Shouting N-C-U.

Hail to the brightest star of all
Clear its radiance shine
Carolina priceless gem.
Receive all praises thine.

I'm a Tar Heel born, I'm a Tar Heel bred.
And when I die, I'm a Tar Heel dead.
So it's rah-rah, Car'lina-'lina!
Rah-rah, Car'lina-'lina!
Rah-rah, Car'lina-Rah, rah, rah!

GO TO HELL DOOK!

Definitely woke up at 3 AM just to follow the score of this game. Tyler Hansbrough and Long Island's own Danny Green are undefeated at Cameron Indoor Stadium. God Bless America.

That one was for Gizmo.

National Lampoon's Southwestern Cameroon Vacation

2009-01-27T18:22:00.004+01:00

So this past weekend I took a trip to the Southwest province to visit some friends before a provincial meeting and go on a hike out to some waterfalls. The hike and ensuing swim was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, but I'll get to that later. First things first: I had to get to the Southwest. Now I live in a small village. I don't have any big markets, not really any restaurants, there's only one real bar, and I don't have running water. As a result, I consider my life pretty rustic. I took one thing for granted though. One thing that I have that makes my life here so much easier than so many other PCVs in different regions. I have good roads. Beautiful, paved roads. Roads that are falling apart in some place, but are paved nonetheless. As soon as we left the West province, so went the roads. It was 2 hours of traveling a distance that would have taken me about 35 minute in the United States. It was 2 hours of perpetual speedbumps. God forbid our driver drove any slower than 100 km/h over the sharp turns that could have easily sent us off of a cliff to a flying, firey, Michael Bay-esque death. I suppose its enough to say I respect the difficulties faced by my fellow PCVs in the Southwest much more than I did before the trip.

After Deathrace 2008, I found my friends' posts in the Southwest to be truly awe-inspiring. I think my post has some beautiful scenery, I really do. But I've never seen anything as green as the forests of Menji and Lewoh. When the fog rolled into the valley on the morning I left, it looked like something you'd see in a National Geographic.

The hike itself was described to us by our friend Brad in simple terms. "It's like a 2 hour hike." Knowing Brad's ultra-laid-back attitude, I should have known he wasn't the kind of guy to use the intense language one needs to accurately describe the trek. Language like "exhausting," "not for the faint of heart," or perhaps most succinctly "vertical." All in all it took us about two and a half to three hours to climb/walk down the mountain to the base of the falls. We were guided along the trail by a local friend who called himself Rastking, and would alert us to his location (the trail itself was about one pace wide and the foliage was so thick you could only see so far ahead of you) by playing on a flute he brought with him. Near the end of the hike, I went on ahead of the group because Rastking told me there was only one trail to follow so I couldn't get lost. I felt like booking it a little so I took off. After I got down to the riverbed I was probably about 15 minutes ahead of the front of the group. In that time I got a little worried that maybe I made a wrong turn somewhere and ended up down or upstream from where everyone else was coming. Hearing the flute's music coming out of the woods a bit later was reassuring and singularly surreal.

After I got down there I was really in my element. I suppose in some ways I'm still an 8-year-old. I love climbing trees and rocks and rope bridges and going on adventures. Getting from one place to another at the base of the falls involved a lot of jumping from rock to rock and a lot of guessing which rocks would be slippery and which wouldn't. It was a great time. A few of us went swimming in the pool under the falls, and that was something I'll never forget. The roar of the cascading water, the breeze whipping this way and that, the way the water was refreshing but not freezing. I'm really glad I made it out there.

The way back was another story. Remember how I said getting from one place to another required guessing which rocks were slippery and which weren't? Well after a few hours of bouncing around surefootedly like a coked-out squirrel. I got a little cocky and guessed wrong. Feet went one way, body went another (read: into the damn river). I had my bag on at the time, and my digital camera didn't survive the immersion. Though, when I think about how close I was to having my head dashed open on a rock just below the waterline, I suppose breaking my camera wasn't that big of a deal (especially since I was able to get my pictures of the hike off of it).

Again, remember how I said it took us like two and a half hours to scale down the mountain? Well the hike back up was one of the single-most exhausting things I've ever done. My quads are still yelling at me. The way up was a lot quicker going though (An hour and a half, I think?), so I suppose that was a plus.

I've got some really good pictures, but I can't upload them here at my house. So check back here on Thursday or Friday and I should have them uploaded for ya.

My dog > Terminix

2009-01-07T15:18:00.001+01:00

Just a little mini-post, but I told my mom about this the other day and she got so grossed out I had to share it with everyone.

A few nights ago, before I got into bed, I noticed a spider about the size of my palm in the corner of my bedroom. I stood there and pondered what to do with it. Last time I saw one of these buggers, I just stepped on it. That resulted in a loooooot of spider guts all over my flip-flop and bedroom floor. Like, copious amounts of spider guts. I had to actually use paper towels to clean up this absurd amount of spider guts. So I'm sitting there trying to come up with a gameplan, and Gizmo walks into my room. He stands at my feet for a minute, notices the spider, and then very calmly walks over to the thing and just eats it in like two gulps. Looks back at me, wags his tail, and walks back into the den.

Awesome.

My thoughts in the first weeks and how they've changed in 7 months:

2009-01-02T15:32:00.004+01:00

1) "It seems really, really dangerous driving around with 10 people in an '85 escort knock-off"

Travelling here in Cameroon is an absolutely mind-boggling mess. You can travel short distances on motocycle taxis, but they're too expensive to take on long trips. For said long trips, you have to take bush taxis. Bush taxis can vary in size from tiny compact cars to big ass vans. Regardless of size, however, you know you're not leaving until there are at least 4-8 too many people in the vehicle. I once drove from my provincial capital to my home with the following setup: Driver pressed against the driverside window with a teenage boy sharing the driver seat with him. I'm sitting between the driver and passenger seats straddling the gearshift (all the vehicles here are manual). There are two people in the passenger seat. 4 people in the backseat, 2 are women with children on their laps. One preteen boy basically lying across the laps of the other 2. 12 people in a compact car. At first it felt dangerous, now its commonplace. I remember just the other day thinking how luxurious it was to be the only person in the passenger seat.

2) "I'm really not comfortable eating from a community plate of fish with no utensils and dirty hands"

This was one of those things that if I hadn't gotten over, I'd never be able to eat anywhere but my house and the more expensive restaurants. In fact, the dining here in Cameroon has become one of the things I'm going to miss most in the states. Usually when out on the town around dinner time, you can walk up to any of the dozen or so women cooking fish on a makeshift grill and order some "poisson braise" while you wait at a nearby bar. They'll then grill you up a whole fish, throw it on a plate and bring it to whatever bar you're at. It's usually accompanied by a bowl of non-filtered water with which you can wash your hands. It's usually delicious, but there's almost no way to avoid getting sick the first few times while your body gets used to the new germs and such.

3) "This weekly malaria prophylactic sure is convenient!"

Every friday at around 10AM I take Mephloquin, which is a malaria prophylactic. In the beginning I thought it was convenient that I only had to take it once a week and I didn't experience any side effects. Well about a month or two in, I've started having the most horrific, vivid nightmares every friday night like clockwork. I usually wake up around 2AM in a cold sweat after dreaming about crazy stuff like murdering my family or my dog (actual examples). I could switch to another pill, which is taken daily. But the side effects for that pill include sensitivity to sunlight. And as an Irish/Ukrainian living 3 degrees above the equator, I don't really need any help getting sunburn.

4) "It's so nice having all these kids in the village know where I live and come visit me all the time!"

This is something that I imagine every Peace Corps volunteer, regardless of location, has to deal with. I'm lucky enough to have a big ass 10 foot wall surrounding my house so I can more or less set my own visitation hours. But I still get knocks on my gate at all hours of the day, even moreso now that I've gotten a dog that the kids love to play with. It's even worse at some of my friend's homes. I spent the night at one's place just recently, and she had kids knocking on her door and singing random crap in french at like 3 in the morning. Don't you have homes!? It's one of those things that comes with being the only white within 50 kilometers or so. You're a novelty.

5) "Jesus Christ washing my clothes by hand for the next two years is going to be awful"

I actually handwashed my clothes for two months before giving in and starting to pay kids to do it for me. Now I genuinely think its probably easier to do laundry here than in the states. The quality of the wash isn't as good, but where else can you get basically your entire wardrobe washed, dried, and folded for $1 USD?

6) "QUIT STOPPING THE CAR EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES! IT SHOULD NOT TAKE 90 MINUTES TO TRAVEL 30 KILOMETERS"

Travelling au Cameroun is a joke, as mentioned in #1, but I gotta say I'm happy to be here because I now know that NOTHING will be able to test my patience in the states. I'm well on my way to becoming an absolute goddamn zen master. I once sat on a bus in 90 degree heat for two and a half hours while the driver got accosted by police. Luckily this was only about a month ago so I had gotten used to that sort of thing. If it had happened in my first week I probably would have killed myself/those around me.

7) "I'm really glad I have electricity in my house, but I think I'd rather have running water."

It sucks not having running water, it really does. Doing laundry, washing dishes, washing floors, showering, cooking, and anything else you need water for instantly becomes a hassle. But I'll say, after spending some time at posts without electricity, that it's way better than not having lights. You don't have lights, and your day is just over at 6:30 every night. There is just not a damn thing to do but go to sleep.

8) Man, defecating outside into a hole in the ground is really, really awful.

I've made it into a game. Now its like target practice!

---

All in all these past 7 months have been pretty mindblowing. I've seen some insane things (bodies on the side of the road just left there after horrible car accidents, boiled monkey [delicious, but looks like boiled baby], etc). It's also made me more appreciative of life back aux etats unis. After bathing out of a bucket for this long, I'll never again complain about weak water pressure or low temperatures in a shower. It's also convinced me of what I want to do with my life back in the States. After seeing how corruption (Cameroon has been called the most corrupt country in the world by a number of sources) has crippled this country and its citizens in so many ways, I know that studying law back in the states is something I could really get into and enjoy.

So yeah. Such is my life.

Note added after posting: This post reads kinda bleakly, but you should all know I'm really, truly happy here and having a great time. Just felt like ranting a bit.

My lazy excuse for an update

2008-12-30T15:32:00.005+01:00

Things have been pretty crazy around here lately so I haven't had time to sit down and do a legit update, but check out these pictures I took exploring by my house the other day.

This one is the view of the rock formation for the road to Bamenda

Here's a bit closer

And closer still...

Here's a view from atop

And here's some balancing rocks that looked like ones out of a Road Runner cartoon.

I'll probably do a real update this weekend so check back sunday or something.

Thanks for all your responses!

2008-11-18T18:18:00.003+01:00

I've gotten some overwhelming response about my shoe drive idea. Let me make it clear that the whole thing is in the earliest stages of planning and I haven't run it past administration at all. So please don't start sending me packages of old sneakers just yet. I should know more and be more organized around New Years after I sit down and speak with PC administrators.

Thanks again for all the input, and I'll absolutely keep you all posted as to how everything progresses.

This is a lot longer than I was expecting it to be.

2008-11-16T20:22:00.002+01:00

That’s what she said.

I feel like I’ve got to apologize to those of you that have kept up with this blog. My last, I don’t know, dozen posts or so have been pretty half-assed. I guess I’ve been phoning it in lately. Sort of like Pacino or Deniro’s last dozen movies or so. I suppose now that the initial shock and awe of being au Cameroun has worn off a bit, everything’s beginning to seem like business-as-usual. Granted, business-as-usual now consists of literally praying for rain just so I can bathe and occasionally having to kill my own dinner, but still. In other words, I guess a lot of things that might still seem interesting to you guys aux Etats Unis are becoming (somewhat) commonplace to me. Today, though, I went for a jog and took a different route than usual. About 15 minutes in, I made a turn and started running alongside one of the most picturesque, breathtaking valleys I’ve ever seen. And I mean gorgeous. Like… Erin-Andrews-courtside-in-the-Dean-Dome gorgeous. Looking over the valley, a couple hundred kilometers away is the massive, blue peak of Mount Bamboutous. I literally had to stop and immerse myself in the view. That’s right, I’m gonna go ahead and blame my break on the vista, not the fact that I was exhausted and completely out of wind. The surreal view made me remember just how dazzling my new home is and how lucky I am to be here.

And it’s not just the landscape; the people I live with are so wonderful. Here’s an example. In my last post, you got to meet Gizmo. He and another mutt (who I branded Dingo) had been sneaking into my yard for a few days. I mentioned to my neighbor (whose name I still don’t know because she insists I call her Mama) that I was interested in maybe buying one of the dogs. She tells me she’ll look into it and not 25 minutes later the owner arrives at my gate with Gizmo in hand. I told him I didn’t have any cash on me at the moment, and he just said I could pay him whenever it was convenient. Who does that? And on top of all that, when the owner heard that I took Gizmo to the vet for some worm medicine and a flea dip, he dropped the price 30%. I’m really blessed to be surrounded by so many kind people.

School’s been going very nicely. My students and I get along pretty well and I’m a huge spectacle among the student body in general. I’ll be teaching to a class of 30 with another 30 kids sitting outside the door just to get a peak at l’enseignent blanc. My student’s grades are pretty average but it’s still early so I’m more or less happy with their progress. The big problem with the Cameroonian educational system (as I see it) is a complete lack of attention to critical thinking. The kids copy down what they see on the board, and they’re expected to regurgitate it on a test. I’ve always been taught, and completely agree, that that’s the lowest form of education. I try to do some critical thinking exercises with my kids but its something that needs to be discussed on a much larger scale than my classroom at GBHS Babadjou.

On the subject of my students, I’m trying to get something started back home with a shoe drive, maybe at my old high school or even at Carolina. I have to talk to my boss about it, because I’m sure there’s a lot of paperwork involved, but I’d really like to get it done. So many of these kids (and a lot of adults) spend all day walking around in plastic flip flops and shoes that don’t fit. I saw one girl walking down the street with plastic bags taped around here shoes which where completely disintegrating. When I think about how many unused pairs of shoes are sitting in my closet alone back in the States, I have to think we can work something out to get some kids here proper footwear.

So a question I’ve been getting a lot from people is: What the hell do you do all day when you’re not teaching? Its funny when I’m asked that because people take for granted how long it takes to do everything here. I can’t run to WalMart and stock myself up for a month in 20 minutes. Doing anything takes about an hour. While I might get one after Christmas, I don’t have a refrigerator. As a result, I have to go to the market every day to buy whatever I plan on eating that day. On that note, my diet here is nourishing enough where my weight really hasn’t fluctuated at all. I weigh a little less than I did last June but nothing dramatic. I eat a lot of eggs. I mean a lot. Rough estimate, I probably eat about a dozen eggs a week. I usually stick to the whites but if I didn’t my cholesterol would be hovering around Avogadro’s number. Those who know me know that I love to cook, and I’ve been doing a lot of that here. Last week Experimenting with different recipes and such and making everything from scratch. Which is really a lot of fun. But it’d be a lot more fun if I had running water to help with the clean up process. Last week I made some killer fettuccini alfredo which took around eleven and a half hours to clean up.

Speaking of cuisine, I’ve been doing a lot of baking lately too. Because, hey, why the hell not? I usually don’t even eat the stuff I bake, I just give it out to my neighbors. I made some lemon squares Friday afternoon (Jesus did I really just admit that?) and brought them over to the aforementioned Mama. (Side note, my town is renowned in the West Province for its Palm wine [wine made from fermented palm sap]. Palm Wine comes out of the tree tasting kind of sweet with low alcohol content. After 2-3 days of fermenting though, that &%*# will strip paint.) So back to the story, I give Mama the carrés citrons and she insists I join here and a few others for some Palm Wine. I can’t be sure, but I think this stuff was a delightful 3 day vintage with an oaky aftertaste. I knocked so far off my ass so quickly I don’t even know what happened. I’m just glad I didn’t wake up naked somewhere in Senegal.

I try to keep active. I usually go running 4-5 times a week. I guess I get that from my dad. Nothing keeps you in a healthy state of mind than some physical exertion. Plus after a good workout I don’t mind the freezing cold shower with translucent water drawn out of my marine pollutant barrel.

I’ve been reading a lot. I just finished Jack Weatherford’s Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World which I highly recommend to anyone with a frontal lobe. Forget any preconceptions you had about Genghis Khan, because this book is going to turn them on their head. Okay, conceded, you probably don’t have any preconceptions about Genghis Khan. The book is excellent regardless.

Obviously the past few days have been centered on getting Gizmo acquainted to his new home. It hasn’t really been that hard since he’s such a lazy mutt. As I write this he’s completely passed out on his blanket on my living room floor. I almost regret naming him Gizmo. If I could go back, I would absolutely have named him Garlic. I read somewhere that feeding a dog garlic is a good prophylactic against fleas and ticks. After a few days of sneaking garlic into his food, I can attest that he’s certainly less itchy and seemingly more comfortable. Only problem being that now Giz’s breath smells like Van Helsing. He makes up for it though by being preposterously adorable. I’m growing quite fond of his mangy ass.

I’ll be at in-service training in about 3 and a half weeks, which is extremely exciting because I’ll be at the beach and I get to reconnect with all my friends from stage that I haven’t seen in three months. Also a little birdie told me that my Odyssey putter and a few Titleists are in the mail and might be here in time for Christmas. When I get back in June 2010 I’m going to have such a monster short game.
Wow, this post really turned into a wall of text. Sorry about that. Kind of bored on a Sunday night and I’m killing time before 9PM Cameroon time when I can hop online and check the Giants-Ravens half-time score. On the topic of sports, Tar Heels blew their chance at an excellent season by letting a late lead slip away at Maryland. But they’re still guaranteed a winning season and have exceeded pretty much everyone’s expectations this year. Butch should have them in a BCS game in two or three years. The basketball team kicked off the season with a win against a game Penn squad without Hansbrough or Ginyard, so that’s a great sign. Here’s to hoping it’s a sign of big things to come.

This’ll probably be my last substantive post for a while, I’ll probably get back to half-assing it again for a while (Don’t forget to see Pacino and Deniro in Righteous Kill in a theatre near you!)

And now some shout-outs:

Mom and Dad – Love you guys! Thanks for all the care packages and recording all those Giants games for me. Knowing I’ve got you both waiting back home makes doing this so much easier (take that however you’d like haha)

Jessi – Little sister, keep kicking ass at Delaware and keep giving out my phone number to your coed friends.

C724 – I doubt you’re reading this, but if you are… you’re on my mind.

Billy, Nathan, Chris, Dres, Kunal – Get at me via email, we gotta talk about Europe next summer. And Kunal if you’re still thinking about coming down this way let me know so I can help you set it up. Also, I’m totally ashamed to admit it, but… I shaved my beard. In my defense, it is really, really hot in Africa. I promise if you all meet me on the Continent next summer I’ll grow it back. BC4L.

To any of my fellow PCVs – See you guys in a few weeks. And remember, no matter what, “Don’t be a %&#$@ About It.”

To anyone who’s actually still reading and not back to stalking Facebook yet – www.facebook.com

Say Hello to Gizmo!

2008-11-15T15:25:00.005+01:00

I just got myself a puppy dog. He kept sneaking into my yard under my gate so I started feeding him. After a few days of this I talked to the family that “owned” him and paid roughly $2 American so I could keep him. He’s a total mutt, but very loveable. Also very lazy. I’ve named him Gizmo as he looks a lot like a Mogwai. Not to mention if I feed him after 9 o; clock he poops all over my house. Check out the mangy mutt:

Yes, we did.

2008-11-07T11:28:00.002+01:00

President-Elect Barack Obama.

Thats pretty wild, n'est-ce pas? I am officially cautiously optimistic about America's future. I was telling someone the other day that I dont think Obama is going to save the world. He's going to raise taxes, which I dont agree with. He's not going to be perfect. But he puts a new face on the United States in a time when the globe is shrinking and international relations are more important than ever. In short, I think he gives the United States a better chance at a peaceful existence. We'll see though.

Anyway things are bon au Cameroun. I baked up some brownies last week and gave some out to these toddlers that are always near my house. The resulting sugar rush was a sight to be seen. Im officially the most popular white person in Cameroon. As long as your survey pool is only children from the age of 5-7 in my tiny village.

In service training is rapidly approaching and Im really excited to see everyone again and unwind for a few days. Its hard to believe Ive already been in country for 5 months. Time is truly flying.

Its Homecoming back in North Carolina, and the Heels need to beat Georgia Tech to keep hope alive for a shot at the ACC Championship. College Basketball kicks off in the next week or two as well. UNC's squad this year against any other team should be like Russia vs. Georgia, but we'll see. With any luck we'll dismember everyone as predicted and maybe even earn a few UN sanctions. Cross your fingers.

Not much else is new, but Im giving a test next week and I plan on giving another joke bonus question. So maybe we'll get some more gems like I had in training.

Go Heels, Go Giants, and GOBama!

Trick or Treat

2008-10-29T10:57:00.003+01:00

So its almost Halloween, which of course means absolutely nothing here. I dont really plan on doing anything besides maybe eating a couple snickers bars. Things have been going pretty smoothly here lately. I was running out of water, but its rained the past few days so Ive been better off in that department. The dry season is upon us though, so I need to get used to it.

I was thinking the other day about how old the village I live in must be. Like, how long peoples ancestors could have been living in this same area. Thousands and thousands of years. I mean I can only trace my ancestors living in the United States back until the early 20th century. Before that my family was in Europe. But people who live here can be walking the same paths as their ancestors did thousands of years ago. Im really living in the cradle of human civilization. Pretty wild.

So funny story. Im teaching Physics to like 40 8th grade-aged kids, and these two goats scramble into the classroom and one mounts the other. Right in the middle of class. Kids barely missed a beat, just chased them right out of their classroom. Then 10 minutes later I drop my chalk and the entire class erupts in laughter. Really?! Is my clumsiness really that much more hilarious than two goats &!?@ing during homeroom? Oh well.

Happy Halloween, everybody.

PS - Forgive any typos, this keyboard is atrocious.

Finally got some pictures up.

2008-10-24T11:37:00.002+01:00

So you can leave me alone now, Ma. Uploaded some pictures of the Swearing In ceremony in August as well as some pictures of my house. Let me know what you think.

Also it seems like everyone else is posting a wish-list from the States on their blogs lately. I don't really recommend sending anything because shipping is pretty expensive, but if you'd like to, here's a list of some things I could use:

1) Books
2) DVDs (movies or TV Shows like The Simpsons)
3) Hot sauce (Texas Pete)
4) Parmesan Cheese
5) Pictures from back home

But really anything sent will be greatly appreciated. That's all for today.

I was not, in fact, eaten alive by jackals.

2008-10-17T19:41:00.000+01:00

A friend of mine voiced concern to me that I had not posted in two weeks and that he had been worried for my safety. I am fine. Thanks for the love. Are there jackals in Cameroon? I should look into that.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY A DAY LATE JESSI! I LOVE YOU SIS!

So I'm naked in my front yard, right...

2008-10-03T11:05:00.004+01:00

That should grab your attention. Let me explain. You know how phone booths are really tight and cramped? Well you could fit roughly three of my bathrooms in there. Additionally, I have no running water, so I have to bathe out of a bucket. This involves splashing water all over myself... and the walls... and the sink... and the toilet (which I pretty much have to stand inside). Oh, and did I mention the drain on the floor doesn't so much live up to its name?

As a result of all these comforts, I've taken to showering outside in my yard. Its actually really nice. I have a 10 foot wall that gives me privacy. When its nice out, I can see the mountains over the wall and since I usually shower later in the day I get to watch the sunset. And when its raining, it's almost like I'm taking a real, honest-to-goodness shower. Almost.

So anyway, I fill up my bucket out of the giant barrel I use to collect rain water. Keep in mind I use this water for everything: flushing my toilet, washing my clothes, washing my dishes, showering, and after filtering it I even drink the stuff.

So I'm having a hell of a time lathering up and singing Miley Cyrus, when I spy a sticker near the bottom of the barrel that I'd never noticed before. In big bold letters, above a picture of a fish with Xs in his eyes, it reads: MARINE POLLUTANT.

Some things you just have to laugh at. Certainly, that barrel has been in my yards for years and it's perfectly safe, but honestly, what is it with me and showers in this country? On the bright side, the sixth finger I've started growing has really upped my words-per-minute at the cyber cafe.

One word review of The Dark Knight

2008-09-26T21:33:00.002+01:00

Wow.

---

Additionally - The Joker has replaced Patrick Bateman as my favorite character from anything ever.

Have I got a travel story for you...

2008-09-25T23:11:00.002+01:00

Prologue: Sometimes things go so badly, you actually question whether or not there is a God. Then sometimes things go so badly that your faith in God's existence is reaffirmed; you know that there's a God because he must have been up all night planning how he was going to *&%$ all over my day. I travelled from my post to the capital city of Yaounde today. Upon leaving, I texted a friend who's been here a year asking how long the trip would be. She said it should take 3 hours at the shortest and 5 at the longest. After reading this post, you can guess for yourself how long it took me to get there.

We left Mbouda, a large town near me at 12PM. We made excellent time driving to Bafoussam, arriving in just under an hour. I remember enjoying that hour thoroughly. I had enough room where I could actually lie down in my seat. It was noon, and the whole day was ahead of me. Life was good.

One could think of this trip as BB and AB. Before Bafoussam and After Bafoussam. Before Bafoussam, I was a happy young man with a bright future and faith in mankind. After Bafoussam I was a angry goblin whose fury made him small and callous.

After arriving in Bafoussam, we sat in the Agency parking lot waiting for more passengers for two and a half hours. We were full after an hour and a half, the last hour was spent searching for our driver, who had disappeared into a nearby bar. I'm not even going to get into that. So after making great time for the first hour, the entire day was shot. I already knew I'd be arriving after dark, which was a bit of a pain in the ass itself, because Yaounde is not a very safe city.

After driving for about an hour, I feel like someone is trying to reach in and take my wallet. I smack the hand away of an 10 year old boy who looks at me guiltily, and tell his father what he was doing. He smacked his boy so hard across the face that I genuinely felt bad for telling on him. All those feelings of remorse quickly disappeared after I felt him digging for it again 20 minutes later. This time I looked away as his father went to town on him.

Roughly 12 to 13 hours later (I kind of lost count) I was able to check off one of the things on my "Do before you leave Africa" list. I saw a monkey! Four monkeys actually! We were pulled up at a control station (one of the 50 stops we made) and four monkeys were pressed up against my window! Four dead monkeys. Dead. There was a man holding four dead monkeys. Trying to sell them to me and the other passengers. To eat. They were totally in tact, not skinned or anything. Very fresh. Probably only clubbed to death minutes earlier. I just kind of sat there stupidly with my mouth open while he tried to peddle his wares. For a moment there, I was worried that I wouldn't get a good look at these, the first monkeys I've seen in Africa. Lucky for me, though, the woman next to me decided she'd like nothing more than braised chimp for dinner and bought one. So I spent the next 30 hours with curious george staring at me with dead eyes. There are some things you can't unsee.

All in all, the trip actually took around 9 hours. That's 280 KM travelled in 9 hours. I once drove from Chapel Hill to Long Island (530 miles) in eight hours. I can't express to you the frustration that this trip caused me. I had to wait about 4 hours before writing this post up, because if I had written it immediately on arrival, I probably would have typed it with my forehead and then put my foot through the motherboard.

I'm safe and sound in Yaounde now, and I've taken a nice hot shower. Tomorrow I'm going to watch a The Dark Knight bootleg (thanks mom and dad!) and I'll redo this whole catastrophe and head home on Saturday morning. Stay classy.

14 weeks down, only 90 to go!

2008-09-17T14:28:00.000+01:00

My house is finally a house! Sorta. I’ve got my living room set all moved in. Couch, four arm chairs, nice coffee table, and that’s in addition to the bamboo couch and arm chairs that I already have. When you walk into my front door, it actually looks like a living room. It’s fantastic.

The past week or two have been pretty stressful. I haven’t really started teaching, because everything is still getting rolling at my school. When they say that September 8th is the first day of school, they really mean that is the first day that school starts setting up. I have my schedule (more or less) ironed out, but I am still waiting on textbooks. Its really hard to teach a class I have no training in (like Physics) without a textbook. Hopefully that will all be worked out by this coming Monday, however.

Life in Babadjou has been really great. It’s gotten on my nerves a little bit standing out as much as I do. Anytime I do anything I’m getting gawked at and laughed at on occasion. It wasn’t as bad in Bangangte because I was with so many other volunteers, so it never really bothered me. It’s a little bit worse when you’re by yourself. That’s not to say I’m not having fun though, I am. Most of my coworkers are very friendly and so is the owner of a bar in the market. He’s a really nice guy and his place has the coldest beer I’ve had since leaving the States.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately, and I’m about halfway through a non-fiction book called Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies by Jared Diamond. It’s about how different societies came to be more powerful than others. It won the Pulitzer and it’s really interesting. I’ll put up a mini-review when I finish it.
It’s nice to see the Tar Heels and the Giants both come out of the gates firing on all cylinders, since the Yankees are not going to make the playoffs. But I guess if they have to miss the postseason, I’m glad its when I’m out of the country. Justin Tuck is one of the top 3 defenders in the league right now. Argue all you want, its science.

I also wanna say thanks to my buddies who are sending me some packages (Billy, PG, Ky). The books and hot sauce are going to come in very handy. Thanks again.

Jessi – I hope your first year at Delaware is going well and that you’re making a lot of friends. Next summer is not so far away, Europe here we come! Love you kid

Babadjou?! But I barely know you?

2008-09-04T16:03:00.000+01:00

I think I need a shower after that joke. It’s been pretty hectic putting my house together and getting used to being completely on my own. The house is still pretty empty but I’ve been able to acquire a few things. I also talked to a volunteer who is headed home really soon and she’s going to sell me most of my stuff, so I should actually have a more-or-less fully furnished house in the next 3 weeks or so.

But aside from moving in, having my own place has really been great. The house is huge. Three bedrooms, one bathroom, one kitchen, and a giant living room. The whole thing is surrounded by 10 foot cement walls with broken glass shards at the top, so I’m pretty secure. I’ve got a little porch area, and I’ve set up a bamboo chair so I can sit out front and read. I think my favorite part of the house is the kitchen, though. It’s great to be able to cook for myself. I think I’m making rice and beans tonight. Yum.

The only real complaint I have about the place so far is that I have no water. It’s not that bad because I have a giant barrel outside that collects rain water, but if it goes a few days without raining then I have to have little kids (les petites) fetch it for you. And let me tell you, you don’t realize how much water you go through in a given day until you start having it handed to you in yellow emergency jugs by a seven year old. The dry season is gonna suuuuck.

I’ve been meeting a lot of people that live near me and a few coworkers. Everyone’s been really friendly and its made the whole transition a lot easier. Once I get better with the language and start making more friends in the area it’ll all be gravy.

Speaking of coworkers, I have no idea what’s going on with my school. They’ve told me that the class schedule should be ready by this Monday. Which is great, because then I can know what classes I’m going to be teaching. Only problem is, classes START this Monday. So yeah. Awesome. Not to mention they’ve been hounding me to teach English and Computer Sciences (in French). I kinda put my foot down and told them I’d only be teaching things that I’m trained to teach (Radical thinking, n’est-ce pas?) We’ll see how that works out.

Anyway what’s new with everyone back home? Grad-schools and such are starting so let me know. Also send me books. I’ve been reading like a fiend lately (as there’s not much to do here until school starts) and I’m running out of stuff to read.

I’ll post again next weekend after my first week of actual teaching. Wish me luck!

What do Africa and America have in common?

2008-08-26T11:57:00.002+01:00

Moving in still sucks. I’m at post now, in a giant house with absolutely zero furniture. The house itself is pretty nice. Tile floors, decent kitchen, three big bedrooms, and a living room the size of a small aircraft hangar. The fact that its so big is almost a negative because I can’t afford to properly furnish it so it looks kinda gloomy.

Moving into the house wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. A friend who’s been here for about a year now hooked me up with a Cameroonian who owed her a favor. I told the guy I wanted a bed, a stove, and an iron and handed him a ton of cash (The mattress by itself was nearly half of my moving-in allowance, but I wasn’t spending another night on a 2” foam square like I have for the past three months). Giving this kid almost all my cash was certainly not the least sketchy thing I’ve ever done, but he pulled through. He got everything I wanted and delivered it right to my house. Pretty stress-free, actually.

I’ve been here for three nights now and I finally get to cook for myself. Tonight I tried to prepare ndolé, a traditional Cameroonian dish made of bitter greens with like a peanut sauce. It might not sound great but when it comes out right it tastes almost exactly like a thicker version of spinach and artichoke dip. That’s when it comes out right. The recipe calls for peanut butter, which I couldn’t find it in the short time I had to shop today. So I figured I’d just try and make my own peanut butter. I’m an intelligent guy, right? I can figure it out, right? Wrong. I’m not even going to write what my attempted method of preparation was because you’ll all think I’m marginally retarded. Long story short it didn’t work. I made the dish anyway with my peanut-butter-abortion and while it looks and tastes nothing like ndolé, it was still pretty good. I’m eating it right now with some fried plantains. I shall call it, “jimbolé.”

I just read Umenyiora is out for the year. That sucks. What doesn’t suck is that I found out the nearby major city, Bafoussam, has a few bars with ESPN. I might get to see Carolina curb-stomp Duke come February. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

My phone/internet connection is pretty bad at my house, which kinda sucks. But I’ve been keeping myself entertained by reading the dozen or so books I have with me, and watching one of the 60 or so movies I know have on my iPod (media exchange with my friends in the last few days of training was so necessary).

All in all though I’m doing very well. Spirits are high and I’m excited to start teaching in… Oh jesus I start teaching in 2 weeks. Merde.

Ain't no party like a Yaounde party

2008-08-20T08:29:00.003+01:00

Because a Yaounde party doesn't stop. We've all been in the capital since Sunday and its been a blast. Yaounde has a lot of little treats that you don't find in small villages like Bangangte. The past few days I've been eating pizza, hamburgers, chinese food, and Snickers bars an in no way is that depressing.

In Yaounde we stay in the case (kahz), which is attached to the Peace Corps headquarters. It's like a giant dormitory that sleeps about 25. It's hilarious, I feel like I'm back in freshman year again. Everyone in bunk beds and playing ping pong and stuff. There's a big DVD collection and a pretty decent library (from which I have ganked a nice little sampling for the next few months). But its been really nice to get to hang out with everyone all night for the last few days before we all leave for our own corners of Cameroon.

But yeah the moment of truth is nigh upon us with the swearing-in ceremony this friday. Everyone's really excited and anxious to finally get to our posts and begin our three months of solitude. I just can't wait to be able to cook for myself and finally have some privacy. I love my host family but you can only wake up to Brian Adams blasting at full volumes before you start to want to commit multiple homicides. Voila.

Yeah the keyboard on this computer is awful so I don't want to write anymore. My next post will be coming from inside my new house sometime this weekend. A bientot.

Big Brother is out there.

2008-08-13T19:21:00.004+01:00

So word around town is that certain volunteers have taken it upon themselves to read a bunch of trainees' and volunteers' blogs and report to the administration about things that they believe are insensitive or offensive. That must be a fun job. So if anyone out there feels marginalized by any of my comments, please shoot me a comment and I'll remove any such posts.

Something like that makes me want to password protect this thing, but where's the fun there? Viva la revolucion.

PS - I just plain don't like the Irish. Filthy people. Sorry Grandma.

How'd you spend your Sunday morning?

2008-08-10T22:34:00.002+01:00

I’m assuming you woke up around 9:30 or 10, had a cup of coffee, read the paper, etc. You know, the usual lazy Sunday type package. What’d I do? I put on a dress and had an audience with the King. I roll like that.

We got to the Chefferie Superieure de Bangangté a little after 10 and got a little tour of the palace. They showed us a bunch of photos from the reigns of former kings and all kind of stuff. I’ve uploaded some photos which you can peep up in this piece. The King has a really nice Zebra rug. And I don’t mean the King of Bangangté saw a nice faux-Zebra skin rug in the Pottery Barn catalog. I mean someone went out, found a zebra, murdered it to death, and turned it into a rug. And then put a coffee table on top of it. Majestic.

So check this. The palace is located in the Sacred Forest. It's called the sacred forest because it is home to the King’s totem animal, a leopard. It is said that if this totem leopard is killed, the King too will die. More on the Sacred Forest. One of the former Kings only ruled for a few weeks because he “had relations” with a woman during his initiation in the Sacred Forest. So he was put to death. Kind of harsh, but it might have been worth it. Hundreds of people are in the Mile High Club. How many people have had sex in a Sacred Forest? It’d be like you and a bunch of sleazy Disney characters. Thumper suddenly comes to mind.

Overall, the visit to meet the King was fantastic. The King was very friendly, if a bit intimidating. He was extremely generous and provided everyone with a huge lunch. Afterwards we came back and had a few beers and watched the Olympics.

Speaking of the Olympics, I’m extremely torn over Team USA (AKA the Redeem Team). I love Kobe Bryant, I love Dwight Howard, I love LeBron James, and I love America. But do I love those things more than I hate Coach Krzyt-head? I… I don’t know. I can’t bring myself to root really hard for the team knowing the Rat bastard is on the sideline, but it was a lot of fun watching LeBron and Kobe jump out of the gym all day against a woeful team China (although, if anyone wants to send me one of those super fresh Team China Nike jerseys, I won’t complain). Final Olympic thought: There’s this smoking hot girl on the USA gymnastics team named Nastia. I am down with that.

So I leave for my post 2 weeks from today. That’s pretty wild. Model school is finished and I’ve graded all my final exams. My classes did pretty well so I’m excited about that. I only had to fail one kid, but she didn’t even have anything nice to say about my bubu so no great loss there. I hope I don’t get too into this whole teaching thing though. I’d like to be able to afford things one day.

I think I’m going to be getting a kitten next week to take with me to post. Half for companionship and half to kill cockroaches and mice. A few girls got some and they’re really fun. I have a picture of Tess’s (which she has aptly named Petit Lion) uploaded with the rest above. Any ideas for names when I do get one? I’m thinking Hobbes. Leave any suggestions in the comments.

Cameroonian Kids Say the Darndest Things

2008-08-03T13:08:00.003+01:00

I’ve been almost embarrassingly active on the blog this week. Last post for a while, but I had to put this up because I’m sitting here grading quizzes and I think you’ll get a kick out of this.

So I had my first full-length bubu made last week. It’s pretty sweet looking. Kind of like a silvery blue-ish color with embroidery on the collar and sleeves that one could only describe as "tastefully baller." Pictures forthcoming, eventually. Anyway, I gave my chemistry class a quiz this past Friday. For the last question on the quiz, I wrote: “For a free bonus point, write about how much you like Mr. Browning’s new bubu.” Some of the responses I got were priceless. And I promise that I didn’t make any of these up.

“I like Mr. Browning’s new bubu because firstly it fits him nicely. Secondly, it is a responsible dress. His wearing it makes him more and more responsible and gentle.”
Man dresses and responsibility go hand in hand in Cameroon.

“Mr. Browning’s new bubu is very nice with his shoes. He will be a very beautiful man in his life.”
You know what? You’re damn right I will be a beautiful man in my life.

“I like Mr. Browning’s new bubu. He looks like a country man with it. I will like to have one like that.”
This boy got an A+ and my tailor’s card.

“I think Mr. Browning has the best bubu I have ever seen in Bangangté.”
I gave this student the best grade ever seen in Bangangté.

My personal favorite, however:

“Mr. Browning’s new bubu is too big on him but he seems okay with that.”
This girl has an absolutely fantastic sense of humor. Needless to say, she will not be passing my class this summer.

Manny Ramirez: Los Angeles Dodger

2008-07-31T21:38:00.002+01:00

Anyone who wants to be my favorite person can send me a Manny Ramirez Dodgers jersey as quickly as possible. I am so excited to be able to root for Manny being Manny on the other side of the god damn country and not killing the Yankees two dozen times a year.

Go Dodgers!

Who needs bugspray? We're only in AFRICA.

2008-07-31T19:53:00.002+01:00

We had an hilarious health session today with the Peace Corps Medical Officer. Basically he talked for a while about how important it was to be using bug spray with DEET in it, because it is the most effective chemical for protecting yourself from mosquito bites and, in turn, preventing malaria. Anyway he goes on and on about how important DEET is and how he hopes we're all using our bug spray.

Eventually one of the trainees raises their hand and asks the PCMO, "If it's really important that we're all using DEET bug spray, why is the bug spray in our medical kit advertised as DEET Free?!" And lo and behold, he takes out the bug spray we've all been given and on the cover in big fluorescent letters reads "DEET FREE!" Even funnier is that when you look on the label, it has all these cartoon bugs holding hands and dancing in a circle. I don't want my mosquito's tripping on my bugspray like LSD and dancing around like they're at woodstock. I want them to die horrible, horrible deaths upon touching my skin. This bug spray they've given us is an absolute joke. I'm pretty sure the ingredient list reads: water, sugar, and human blood.

Look forward to my next post about the Peace Corps' newest innovation: mesh condoms.

J’ai une maison!

2008-07-29T18:50:00.002+01:00

C’est vrai. They‘ve finally found me a house. I’ll be living in my village and not the bigger city about 15 minutes away. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. It’s good because I’ll be closer to my school and I won’t have to commute to work at all. It’s a bit of a pain in the ass in the sense that my village doesn’t have any running water. Soooo I’ll be bathing out of a bucket for the next two years. But hey, I did join the Peace Corps right? This is Africa, not the airport Hilton. But yeah I’m really excited that they’ve finally squared that all away and I can stop stressing about it. Apparently it’s got three bedrooms, a living room, and a “bathroom.” I’ll probably convert one of the bedrooms into an indoor kitchen though. I WILL have electricity, so at least I can have lights and maybe even a refrigerator.

One thing I hope I can find in my new village that we have here in Bangangté is the beans and beignet lady. More or less every morning, I walk next door and there’s a woman serving fried beans and fried beignets. Not exactly healthy, but unbelievably delicious. For 150 CFA (About 25 cents) I get a big plate of beans and three or four beignets. The beans are great and have some really killer spices in them, but they don’t even compare to these beignets. I can’t possibly explain the words the orgy of taste that are these beignets. They’re so fresh; the woman literally squeezes the dough into the fryer as you order them. Crispy on the inside and soft and chewy on the inside, it’s like the best plain doughnut you’ve ever had, only better. I’ve heard rumors that there are beignet ladies out there who serve them with powdered sugar. If I find one, I’m going to marry her and bring her back to the states. Sorry Mom.

Anyway training is really starting to wrap up. We have another week and a half of teaching left and then we start to administer “final exams.” After that we head out to the national capital to set up our bank accounts and party a little. Then another week and a half later we’re done. It’s crazy how fast it’s all flying by now. In 26 days we’re all going to be scattered about the country. Really exciting, yet melancholy at the same time. We’ve made a bunch of tight friendships in the short time that we’ve been together, and it’s going to be weird knowing some people won’t see each other for months.

We’re trying to set up a fantasy football league between the trainees. I think it’ll be a fun way to keep up with our teams back in the states and also keep up with each other through email when we’re all on opposite sides of the Roon. We’re going to do a live draft next weekend or so. Should be a blast.

Yeah so I’ve been reading a lot of other volunteer’s/trainee’s blogs and they all seem to be a lot more philosophical and deep and existential than I am. Am I cheating you guys by not posting really thoughtful updates about how this cross-cultural experience has lit a fire in my soul that can never be extinguished, or something fruity like that? Because I’m really not that deep of a guy. I don’t really feel any different than I did when I left, besides now when people here speak to me I can understand 50% of it and occasionally form a semi-logical response instead of smiling awkwardly and saying “Quoi?” Yeah, so sorry if you don’t feel like you’re getting meaningful insight into the inner workings of my mind. In fact, consider yourself lucky. It’s not pretty in there.

It's times like these I wish I didn't believe in karma.

2008-07-20T21:10:00.007+01:00

Because starting tomorrow morning, I'm the teacher, and not the smartass little schmuck in the back of the class making the teachers life a living hell.

Seriously though, can you believe they're going to put me in charge of a class full of kids? Cameroonian parents have worked hard all year to save up enough money so that they could send their children for a few months of extra schooling this summer. They're paying cold hard cash to give their sons and daughters a head start on next year's lessons... And they get me? They get this guy:

Caveat emptor

In reality, I feel pretty confident about the whole thing. I've received some great training and I think I'll be able to handle it. The class sizes are pretty small so I should be able to keep things under control. If nothing else, at least I'm bigger than my students. Most of them anyway. On a related note, if you read anything on CNN.com about a Peace Corps Trainee getting lynched by a pack of unruly 12-year-olds... Avenge me.

This week, about half of the volunteers (the Small Enterprise Development group) were on their site visits. They came back today and one of them had an idea so hilariously stupid that we immediately knew it was brilliant. A group of about 7 or 8 of us guys have decided to stop shaving for the next month and grow as thick of a beard as possible. Going the month will take us to a few days before our Swearing-In ceremony. That's a big deal, the Country Director comes, the US Ambassador is there, and so is the mayor of Bangangte. So naturally, we're going to make asses of ourselves and shave off our beards, leaving just the solo mustache. Remember my pictures from Lost Friday? I'm hoping to look like that, only with a real mustache. In all likelihood I'll end up looking like a 15 year old wearing a week's worth of peach fuzz so he can try and buy a six-pack at a gas station.

On the homefront, how have you guys liked The Dark Knight? Any reviews would be welcomed, as long as they're spoiler free. Any spoilers and I swear to all gods christian, pagan, or otherwise that I will hunt you down and eat your black heart.

I see the Yankees have woken up a bit, that's nice. I'd kill to sit and watch a baseball game. More than anything though, I hate the fact that I'm going to miss every UNC basketball game this year. They are going to be horrifyingly good this year. They are going to annihilate people next year. Opposing coaches will be forever haunted by the memories of these beatings. Their children will weep while they watch their fathers humiliated on national television. Their wives will never look at them the same way. After the assault, many opposing players will give up the game of basketball for good. Some before the end of the first half. It's going to be awesome.

I should be pretty busy the next few weeks, planning lessons and getting ready to leave Bangangte and head to post for good. I'll try to keep up with the weekly posts but we'll see how that goes.

That's all for today. Shorter than usual but I'm really busy writing lesson plans. And by writing lessons plans I mean goofing off and teaching my little brother Frank how to say inappropriate things in English.

PS - Congratulations on getting into UDel Jessi! Let's go Blue Hens!
PPS - Blue Hens? Seriously? Pbbfffttthahahahahahaha

This is Jim wearing a dress.

2008-07-19T23:38:00.003+01:00

I don't think I could make the title any more straight forward. Here's a picture of me in my first pagne. It's just a simple chemise. Basically like an oxford shirt. And HERE is a picture of me in my first bubu. This one is only like a 3/4 length bubu (basically just about my knees) and it comes with a pair of pajama-style pants. Next week I'm going to get a full length bubu (think a gown down to the floor).

I'll do a full length post tomorrow or the next day. I have a lot of lesson planning to do before then.

PS - User poll: let my hair continue to grow out and look even MORE ridiculous, or just buzz it all the hell off?

Fission Mailed

2008-07-11T22:45:00.002+01:00

So the trip to my post was less than stellar. That's not to say there's anything wrong with the village. I haven't seen enough of it to make any kind of judgement call. The school itself is nice looking, but I didn't really spend any time in the village itself. I left Bangangte around 8 AM and arrived sometime around 10:30. Me and my counterpart headed to the school, we met the principal and left from there. Then we met the Sous-Prefet of my village. Here's the thing about Sous-Prefets, though. I can't really think of a position in the united states that compares to it, really. It's sort of like a Vice Mayor, of sorts. But anyway they all look strike me as Bond villains. Super well-dressed, very soft spoken, and very intimidating. You'd get what I mean if you met one. The Sous-Prefet was, in fact, very friendly and helpful. When the principal told him he wanted help finding me a house, he sort of laughed and said that was going to be a big problem. As I've heard from others, there is very little housing in my village. Pretty much everyone that teaches/works there lives in Mbouda (very large city about 15-20 minutes away) and commutes to work every day. I was under the impression that I was going to do exactly the same thing, but apparently not. Anyway, they said they'd do their best to find me a house with running water (very rare in my village) and that they wanted to furnish it for me. Hopefully that'll work out. After that we met the head of the Gendarmerie (sort of like police, but military). Then we were supposed to meet the Chief but he was out of town. All of this was finished by about 12:30. After that, we did NOTHING. And by after that, I mean until Friday morning when I left. My counterpart left for Baffoussam to take care of some things, and my principal was very busy. I basically spent 80% of my time alone in my hotel in Mbouda, alone. Not exactly super fun. Hopefully once my housing arrangements get squared away, I'll be able to go back for a day or so and give things another look. We'll see.

Travelling to and fro in Cameroon is hilarious though. There are a few formal transportation companies where you can go to an office and buy a ticket, but that's kind of expensive. Basically what you do is strap on your backpack and stand near a gas station. Within 2 minutes 10 different guys try to drag you into their random cars telling you they'll take you where you want to go. You just pick the one that looks the least drunk and jump on in. On Wednesday I drove in a van the size of a Windstar. The driver was going roughly 140 KPH. I have no idea what that is in MPH but it felt fast as hell. It wouldn't have been as frightening if there hadn't been 23 people in the van with me. 23. That's two football teams and a referee. The first day, I had an elderly woman sitting in my lap. Sweet lady, smelled of palm wine. Two days later I rode in a civic-sized car with 12 people. For that trip, I had a middle-aged man sitting on my lap. Not as friendly, still smelled like palm wine. Whatever, don't be a b*tch about it.

I'm back in Bangangte now, and its wild how I've already started to think of this town as home. I was so relieved to get back here. Hopefully after a month in Babadjou I'll feel the same way about it. We'll see though. Sadly I have no pictures of my trip, as I was too bummed out to take anyway and also I didn't feel like getting mugged for taking out my camera in too crowded of a place. Babadjou and Mbouda are really gorgeous though, near the mountains and if you get a clear view the countryside is really breathtaking.

That's all for today. Lot's of lesson planning to do this weekend. Model school starts on Tuesday. We observe classes the first week, and begin teaching our own lessons on tuesday. I will be shaping the youth of a nation. May God have mercy on their souls.

PS - Jessi. I miss you. Come to Cameroon. You're small. Mom and Dad can ship you UPS. You might want to get some shots before you leave, though. There is all kinds of ridiculous crap here that can/will kill you. Seriously, Jess. I miss you like crazy and I don't know why I'm using a public forum to say it but whatevs. Tell Mom and Dad to get ready to take you to France next June. I'm not kidding. We're all meeting there. Mom and Dad in Europe are going to be hilarious. I bet $50 Mom breaks something in the Louvre. Another $50 Dad beats up a mime. Love you, talk to you soon!

Bucket Bath? More like &%$# - it bath.

2008-07-06T09:46:00.002+01:00

This weekend was a lot of fun. We had a Fourth of July party at the PC HQ on Friday afternoon and had a lot of fun. Beers and burgers and a few of us worked out some ghetto ass version of beer pong. Then on Saturday night we headed to a party at the Mayor of Bangangté’s house. She was incredibly friendly and generous and we all ate ridiculously well. After dinner, the Mayor asked me and a few friends if we wanted to play “Bébé Foot.” So we went up to her game room and got SCHOOLED in an intense game of Foozball. The Mayor was talking ish the whole time and it was hilarious.

I also found out that I’ve reached Intermediate High proficiency with my French. That means that, while I still have a lot to learn, I’ve attained the level needed to complete my Peace Corps training and swear-in as a volunteer. That relieves a lot of pressure and now I think its going to be easier for me to advance my French because I’ll be less worried about attaining a certain level and just focused on expanding my vocabulary.

One last thing, I hit my lowest point since arriving in Cameroon. After an intense game of Ultimate Frisbee yesterday, I came home to shower before the party at the Mayor’s. Of course, the water and the electricity were both out. No big deal though, I can just bucket bathe with some rain water, right? Nope. No rain water in the barrel outside. Okay well at least you filled up your emergency tanks for exactly this type of situation, right? Nope, I’m a jackass. So I essentially “showered” by wiping myself off with a washcloth soaked in 4 inches of water in a bucket our housekeeper had just used to wash her feet. Go me.

Also, tomorrow is our one-month-in-country mark and there are still 38 of us. Go Stage 2008. Way to not be a b*tch about it.

Peep the pictures from the various fêtes.

PS - Mini-Book Review: Cormac McCarthy's The Road was absolutely brilliant. I couldn't tell you if I like it better than Blood Meridian
but I will say reading it has completed my about-face on McCarthy. I need to check out All The Pretty Horses. But yeah The Road is a horrifying but beautiful story about a father and son in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. It sounds really cliché but it’s anything but. Read it. Now. Do it. Especially you, Aunt Crissy.

Post Removed

2008-07-03T21:13:00.005+01:00

Post Removed

Don't Be A B*tch About It

2008-06-28T21:38:00.008+01:00

Another week in the books and its funny how things are progressing. After the first two or three days here in Bangangté, everyone was talking about how they felt like we’d been here for two or three weeks. Time just seemed to be crawling by. This morning, though, nobody could believe it was already Saturday and that we only have 8 weeks left of training.

PST Status: Nobody has quit or died yet. So we’ve got that going for us, which is nice. I’m really impressed by how tough everyone in the group is. No one’s really shown any signs of cracking. My boy Trevor brought along a dozen beer cozies with him that he made for his Fantasy Baseball league. It started out as an inside joke with him and some friends back home, but written on each of the cozies is what has become our Training Group’s Unofficial Motto: “Don’t Be A B*tch About It.” It’s a bit crass, but when you have to sit through some of our horrific medical sessions (imagine sitting in a room for 2 hours a few times a week, just hearing a laundry list of all the horrible things that are inevitably going to happen to your body) or deal with some of the Roon's everyday hassles, it’s a great mantra. Think you might have worms living in your intestines? Don’t be a b*tch about it. Host family insists on feeding you fish-heads and chicken feet for dinner every night? Don’t be a b*tch about it. Have to sleep with headphones on so you don’t have to hear the mice eating your socks? Don’t be a b*tch about it. You get the idea. One of these days I’m going to have to type up a whole glossary of the lingo we’ve come up with since arriving. Some of it is definitely coming back stateside.

But yeah personally my spirits are high. We had a little med session on mental health and everyone filled out a questionnaire about the things that are getting to us the most about being here. Really, besides the obvious things like missing family and friends, the only thing killing me is that I haven’t played golf in a month. I guess I got lucky because I have a great host family.

The kids are so hilarious because we all have the same since of humor, meaning it’s a houseful of smartasses. Whenever I’m with them and I want to say something but need to look in the Francais-Anglais dictionary, I always make this little clicking noise with my tongue while I search for the word. After doing that for about a week, the kids do it to me whenever I look like I’m thinking about anything. I was sitting playing chess with Jacque the other night, and I paused a half beat extra to think about a move, and I immediately hear six little kids going “TCHK-TCHK-TCHK” in unison and then laugh at me. Punks. That night I specifically ate more at dinner so there’d be less left for them. Kidding. Sort of? But that is kind of an awkward part of my evenings...

Every night I get served with either the mother, the father, or Jacque (depending on who’s home.) The kids kind of hang around in the living room while we eat and then after we’re done they eat the rest. So like every bit I take, I’m taking out of a nine-year-old’s mouth. And as much as I love stealing candy from children, that can rack on a guys conscience a wee bit. To remedy the situation, I’ve sort of just switched my lunch and dinner meal sizes. My big meal of the day is lunch (which I procure and pay for myself). I’ll usually have a big avocado, tomato, and cheese sandwich or a plate of rice, beans, and potatoes. Follow that up with a couple hard boiled eggs and a Coca-Cola and you’ve got yourself a meal. Then I just eat a tiny bit of what the family is having at dinner so there’s more left for the kids. Reading over this it sounds a lot worse than it actually is. I'm not going to bed hungry, Mom.

On a lighter note, the education volunteers find out our posts this Thursday (AKA where we’ll be spending the next two years of our lives). Naturally, I’m insanely excited about it. There are going to be 7 science education volunteers. There are 6 posts in the two Anglophone provinces and 1 in a Francophone province (although still teaching science in English at a bilingual school). I won’t be too upset if I don’t get it, but I'm actually hoping I get the Francophone post. I feel like if I’m going to bust my ass for the next two months learning French, I want to be able to use it. It seems like I’m the only Science Ed volunteer who wants that spot though, so maybe I’ll end up getting it. Frankly either way I’m not too concerned because the Anglophone provinces are extremely beautiful and from what I hear, a bit more developed.

I got my first shirt tailored today. The material cost me 3.000 CFA (roughly $6) and the tailoring cost me 1.500 CFA (about $3). I had enough material for two shirts (deux chemise: basically an oxford or a blouse) but I didn’t feel like having two shirts of the same material, so I’ll probably just use the remainder for an ironing board. You get clothes here made out of material called pagne, which is basically cotton-like material with really bright and wild designs on it. I’ve never really been into prints but hey, when in Rome. The print I got is like dark green, and black, with a little bit of orange. It’s a bit more mellow than your average pagne but I’m going to ease into the style. Eventually I’ll want to get a boubou made. What is a boubou? Think man-dress. Tres GQ. I get to pick the finished shirt up on Wednesday so I’ll probably put up a picture of me in it when I post here about why posting announcement.

Oh yeah, anyone who reads this that’s into golf (Billy, Koon, Dres) needs to check out the book The Match. It’s by the same guy who wrote The Greatest Game Every Played (Mark Frost) and it was a NYT Best Seller. It’s about a Best-Ball match with two of the 1950's best amateurs, Ken Venturi and (Tar Heel) Harvie Ward against legends Byron Nelson and Ben Hogan. Mark Frost is an amazing writer and the book is just unbelievable. I read it in about 5 hours, in one sitting (250 pages). I just grabbed The Road by Cormac McCarthy and I should be processing that one for a while. Blood Meridian was so good I decided maybe I was wrong about McCarthy when I didn’t like No Country For Old Men. I’ll let you know what I think of it when I finish.

That’s all for today. Check back Thursday night or Friday to see where I got posted and possibly some pictures of me in my hot new African formal wear.

P.S. – There are no prescriptions here. Any drug you want you can get over the counter. Odds of me developing a Brett-Favrian vicodin addiction? 5:3.

P.P.S. – Danny Green, Ty Lawson, and Wayne Ellington are all coming back. UNC is going to go undefeated next year with an average margin of victory of 25.5 ppg and I’m going to miss every minute of it? Nice.

P.P.P.S. – Hi Mrs. Firth!

Cameroon Top 5 Lists+ Pictures

2008-06-22T11:43:00.004+01:00

So I was thinking the other night about a few things and I threw these lists together to give you guys a better grasp of what it’s like living here.

Top 5 Things That Will Take Some Getting Used To:

5) Every time I get drink bottled water, its piss warm. But when I take a shower, its Rocky Mountain cold.

4) Taking said showers with tomorrow’s dinner. Pre-beheading.

3) Another Trainee said it best: “All the food is good here, but Cameroon has made me realize how important presentation is to a meal." The other night I was served Plantains in peanut sauce. After closing my eyes and digging in, I LOVED it. But imagine being served a plate of gray, banana-shaped logs served in thick, brown, speckled gravy.

2) French.

1) The Bangangte 06:00 Wake-Up Call – I don’t know where in the town charter it says this, but apparently the local Crowing Roosters, Crying Babies, and Loud Music Bumping unions have organized to have ALL HELL break loose outside my window every morning 10 minutes before dawn. The music and roosters I can live with, but there is this one kid who lives next door and every morning he wakes up screaming like someone is killing him. Frankly its gotten to the point where I’m hoping they just finish the job.

Top 5 Things that I Already Love about Cameroon

5) Sleeping in a mosquito net makes me feel sexy. Sue me.

4) 24 Oz. beers for $1 everyday. 1.5 Oz. Capri Sun-like bags of whiskey for 25 cents. Huge, delicious plates of rice, potatoes, beans, and sauce for 75 cents. And more than anything else: The Bangangte Egg McMuffin: A hard boiled egg with some spicy sauce served in what is essentially a giant doughnut hole with no powdered sugar. How much? 25 cents.

3) Being the only white guy in a market full of 2,000 people. I’m sure this one will get old, but right now whenever I walk around, all the stares just make me feel like a rock star.

2) Cameroonian television – 17 channels of Spanish soap operas with French subtitles. 3 channels of soccer.

1) Pierre’s – Local bar where every night they set up the place especially just for the influx of PCTs after training. Great food, great beer, and a great atmosphere. For you Chapel Hill folks reading this, its like Montys but EVERY NIGHT.

I also uploaded some pictures from last nights festivities. Some of them didn't work, so there's only about 10. I'll try to get some more up next weekend.

Wireless internet in Bangangte!?

2008-06-21T12:22:00.001+01:00

So yeah, thanks to some help from one of the IT education trainees, a bunch of us were able to figure out how to use our cell phones (essentially) as wireless routers for our laptops for about $1 an hour. Way faster than your average internet cafe and immeasurably more convenient. I'm still going to keep the updates weekly, because I'm not really trying to spend much time on the computer when there's so much to do around here. But this way I can really get on the web just about any time I want/need.

Things are still going well with the host family. We play a lot of card games and I'm still teaching Jacques how to play chess. He's a very quick learner and I'm sure he'll be embarrassing me in no time.

We now have a regularly scheduled pick-up soccer game among the trainees and a few trainers. We played Thursday and it was a blast. Some of the trainees are very good, some very bad (moi), and almost all the trainers are insanely good. Our training director David (much older guy) was absolutely schooling us twenty-somethings out there. The "field" is 100% mud/clay. Not a patch of grass on it, sort of like the field we used to practice football on at RPHS. I wiped out fantastically near the end and got pretty scraped up. I'll undoubtedly have developed gangrene in my left arm and leg by the time you read this post.

Through a bit of lobbying, I was able to get the trainee curfew extended tonight (Until 9 PM! We're insane.) And we're all gonna get together for some drinks and I think a few people are going to cook up some food. So far no one has died, quit, or gotten pregnant. But we've only been in Bangangte for like 10 days so there's plenty of time. If I had to guess which would happen first, I'd go with a pregnancy. You get enough 25 cent sachets of whiskey in you and bad decisions are inevitable.

Oh yeah, I really need to start writing down my dreams too. This malaria medication is well known for giving incredibly vivid dreams and it has been living up to the hype. I had one last night where I had all kinds of bugs living in my skin and I had to pop them out like pimples. Here's to hoping it wasn't a premonition of things to come.

Anyway things are going pretty well, another full week in the books. We do a thirty minute teaching example next week and I think I'm going to do mine on mitosis. I know, they're going to be riveted. I might take some pictures tonight/tomorrow and post them mid week, in which case I'll post a link here. A bientot!

Bangangte pictures uploaded on Flickr!

2008-06-17T17:06:00.004+01:00

I found an internet cafe that actually communicates with the outside world faster than your average carrier pidgeon (though not much), so I was able to get some pictures uploaded. There may or may not a few candid shots of the voyeur chicken I accidentally showered with. I forget.

Warning: The adorability of certain Cameroonian children may be too potent for some.

check dat ish rite hurr

I am officially Peace Corps

2008-06-16T13:00:00.003+01:00

Yeah, it’s official. I’m in the Peace Corps. I realized it yesterday night when I got home from Pierre’s (a local market/bar where the PC trainees get drinks after training sessions) and jumped in the shower. Am I officially in the Peace Corps because I’m bathing out of a bucket? No. Is it because there’s no water heater and I shower in cold water? No. It’s official because halfway through my shower, I noticed there was a chicken and three chicks in the bathroom with me. Let me repeat that. I showered with a chicken. Somewhere between lather and rinse, I hear a “BICKAWWW” from next to the toilet. Lo and behold, there is Mama Hen and three little babies. I just burst out laughing and started to chase them around the bathroom naked like a madman.

So as you’ve clearly noticed, I DO have internet access in Bangangte, even though I thought I wouldn’t. I should be able to update this thing and upload some pictures once a week or so, maybe a little less. But that’s good news. This village is so unbelievable I’ll have a lot to write about.
My host family is fantastic. My dad is an Economics Teacher, my mother sells phone cards, and there are four children that are unbelievably adorable and hilarious. They all love American music (Akon, Beyonce, Lil Wayne, Chris Brown) and they dance to the music DVDs that they have just about every night. My mother’s brother, Jacque, lives with us as well. He’s 20 years old and extremely friendly. Everyone, especially Jacque and Kevin (the oldest child), is patient with my weak French. We played Uno together the other night for like two hours and I’ve started to teach Jacque how to play chess. The latter was extremely difficult considering I know about six French words. Four of which being “Je ne comprende pas.”

Bangangte in general is gorgeous. It’s extremely green and very temperate. From about 11 AM to 2 PM every day it gets very hot but during the night its extremely comfortable. When it rains, the roads turn into EXTREMELY sticky red mud that sticks to your shows like glue. I’ve been paying the kids in candy to clean my shoes on rainy days, as its extremely important culturally to have clean shoes at all times. In fact, all of the Cameroonians dress nicely (think business casual) at all times. In the States, dress is about individual expression. Here, its about respect for others and your community. It’s a bit of a hassle getting ready every morning, but its kind of a nice feeling being well dressed all the time.

So I'll probably be updating this thing on Sundays or Mondays. So check back. Im about to try and upload some pictures but the internet CRAWLS here so I dont know if its going to work. Otherwise, I'll see you Sunday.

One quick last thing before I leave...

2008-06-11T19:27:00.002+01:00

I have my cell phone up and running so if you guys ever want to call or text me while Im here, the number is (011) (237) 79 49 60 06. That includes the US international calling code and then the Cameroonian country code. Its kinda expensive but not too crazy. Especially just for the once-in-a-while text message. Just thought Id give you guys the info because Id love to hear from you. It wont cost me anything if you call me, as all incoming calls are gratis. But if you text itll cost me a bit to text back so dont be offended if I have no credit on my phone and cant hit you back.

Anyway we got our language test results back and apparently Im an Intermediate Low, which is two levels higher than I expected to be and Im a little stressed that the people Im going to be grouped with are going to be moving too quickly for me... I guess we'll see soon enough. Thats all for a while. On va parler en dix semaines.

Uploaded a few pics before Bangangté

2008-06-11T07:49:00.005+01:00

So we're not exactly working with blazing fast internet speeds so I can put up all of my pics or even any of them at full resolution, but I set up an account where I'll be throwing up a few snapshots whenever I get the chance. I haven't taken that many pictures of Yaounde because 1) Im an idiot who always forgets his camera 2) We really haven't travelled around Yaounde that much (We're mostly sequestered to the PC Office and our Hotel). The link is right here.

But tomorrow I head out to Bangangte to meet my host family and see the place I'll be living for the next three months. We had a questionnaire about our living preferences (Like electricity, running water, toilets, etc.) and whether or not we'd mind living without them. Most people just put they didnt mind any of it. Me? Not so much. Me (and Trevor and Joe and Nick) were actually honest. We figure we can handle living without those things for three months, but if they're actually going to use the questionnaire to place us, why not try and get them? Screw looking easy to please, I don't want to crap in a hole for three months longer than I have to.

But that said I probably wont have internet access often or at all for the next three months, so I'll be out of commission. But as soon as I get back I'll have a full report on Pre-Service Training as well as a bunch of photos. You stay classy.

Settled in in Yaounde!

2008-06-10T11:55:00.003+01:00

Well I've been in Yaounde for a few days now (and I'm on a Peace Corps computer so it's actually got a good-old-american-these-colors-dont-run keyboard with like punctuation and such). Of course I've just gotten settled enough in time to leave on Thursday to head out to Bangangte to meet my host family whom I'll be living with for the next 10 weeks. I'm really excited about it, because basically my French can only go up from where it is. I think living with them is going to allow me to immerse and get better at picking up the language.

Anyway the weather here is surprisingly mild. We're in the rainy season which is about 9 months long in Yaounde, and its a bit cooler now. It gets pretty warm in direct sunlight and from around 11:30 AM to like 2:00 PM, but at night its a very comfortable temperature. Bangangte apparently gets down to the 50s at night, which will be great because its a lot easier to sleep in the cool for me.

But anyway as I was saying everyone in my group is very cool (There are 38 of us all together). There are about 6 or 8 of us who get along very well so I'm having a lot of fun and not feeling too homesick just yet. We're still a bit sheltered here in Yaounde, and things will probably be a bit more wild in Bangangte, but since I've made some friends I think I'll be able to tought it out.

But anyway: To answer a few questions:

1) Chris - Yes the keyboard does have a cidella(?) as well as a bunch of little like pictograms for Pidgin (like fishes and suns and sech)

2) Billy - No "i surrender" button but the "Esc" button takes up half of the keyboard.

3) Ellen - See you next tuesday :)

Here in Cameroon

2008-06-08T15:01:00.003+01:00

This French keyboard is really bizarre so forgive the grammar and punctuation in this post. Im gonna keep it short and sweet and with a bit of luck I'll post more info and some pictures later in the week. Just wanted everyone to know that Im here in Cameroon and all safe and sound. I cant even get exclamation points on this thing, haha

Last full day in the States

2008-06-05T18:43:00.003+01:00

Staging so far has been a blast. Well, I suppose thats not true. The actual Peace Corps staging sessions and all that has been kind of boring. Standard seminar crap (icebreakers, group posters, etc.). But meeting everyone else headed to Cameroon has been great. There's 36 of us going and everyone is really enthusiastic about leaving and extremely friendly. Just about all of us took over a bar a few blocks from the hotel last night and got to know each other. After meeting them all I'm even more excited about training because I know that worst comes to worst I'll at least be around a bunch of friends.

Tomorrow morning we go to the clinic and get a bunch of shots and such before flying to Paris at 6:45. That's a 7 hour flight, followed by a 2 hour lay over in gai Paris, followed by another 7 hour flight to Douala(doo-all-ah), Cameroon. That's when things get kinda hectic. We take a 50 minute flight from Douala to Yaounde (yah-oon-day)which I can only imagine should be an interesting one. We're in Yaounde for like 5 days before heading to Bangangte (bon-gone-tay) for the next 10 weeks.

Well anyway, I think most of us are just going to take it easy tonight and watch the Laker game. The next few days are going to be very exciting and undoubtedly tiring so I should probably just rest up tonight. I've got a cold and I'm hoping to kill it by Saturday morning, cross your fingers.

This one's for you, Ma.

2008-05-28T16:31:00.008+01:00

Book Recommendations?

2008-05-21T06:11:00.010+01:00

Forgot to mention that I'm going to bring about a dozen paperbacks with me and I've still got room for like 4-5 more. Hit me up with some recommendations at jrb.pcv@gmail.com. The smaller the book the better so I can bring more along. So we're looking for maximum awesome to page ratio here. Merci.

I'd Rather Pack Then Watch the Yankees Lately

2008-05-21T05:19:00.006+01:00

Yup. It's come to that. I'd rather sit and pack my bags than watch the "Bombers" score 2 runs a series. Can Joba hit? Maybe Joba can hit. Throw him on 1st base and see what happens. How bad could that be? He couldn't do worse than Giambi in his golden thong, could he? At least I don't have to worry about them winning #27 while I'm in the bush. Bah.

Anyway so I've pretty much got everything I need and I'm gonna start throwing it all in bags over the next few days. I don't need to bring that many clothes with me as I can get most of what I need made over in Cameroon pretty cheap. The following is a list of everything I'm going to bring. Not exactly riveting reading but I'm using it to make sure I'm not forgetting anything.

Clothes:
- Collared Polo shirts - 4
- Oxford work shirts - 5
- Ties - 3
- Tee-shirts - 5 for wearing out, 5 casual
- Jeans - 1 light, 1 dark
- Athletic Shorts - 2
- Belts - 2
- Dress Pants - 2 light, 1 dark
- Beaters, socks, and underwear - 12 each
- Raincoat
- Light coat
- Sweatshirt? Maybe
- Bathing Suit
- Watch
- Sunglasses
- Yankees hat (Masochism)

Shoes:
- Dress Shoes
- Rainbows
- Running Shoes
- Hiking Boots

Hygiene:
- Antiperspirant
- Moisturizer
- Q-Tips
- Shampoo
- Body Wash
- Washcloth
- Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Lysterine, Floss
- Tweezers
- Nailclippers
- Earplugs
- Camping towels
- Razor + Crazy mad razorheads
- Shaving cream

Work stuff:
- Day-Planner
- Notebooks
- "Donated" Science textbooks (hoping to steal some from Rocky Point High School)

Kitchen + House Wares:
- Ziplocks
- Leatherman Multi-tool
- Can-opener
- Some snacks

Electronic stuff:
- Cell Phone
- Mag-Lite
- Hand-cranked Lantern
- USB Flashdrive
- Powermonkey Explorer Solar Powered Cellphone/iPod/Digital Camera charger (awesome)
- Laptop? (Haven't decided yet)
- Travel Chess Computer
- Need to buy an iPod and a Digital Camera

Etcetera:
- Lots of photos of friends and family
- Peace Corps paperwork
- World Map
- Postage Stamps
- Alarm clock
- Chess set
- Playing Cards
- Calculator
- French dictionary
- Umbrella
- Putter (Yes, I have a serious addiction)
- Combo locks
- Laundry stuff
- Drying line
- So much duct tape
- Mirror
- Carolina stuff to decorate my walls

Damn it I have so much to do.

T-Minus 20 Days

2008-05-16T01:31:00.001+01:00

Hey everybody,

So even though it goes against every fiber of my being... I've started a blog. I chose this over sending out any blanket emails because that's wildly pretentious and obnoxious and I don't think I need any help coming off as pretentious and obnoxious.

I leave for staging on June 4th. I'll probably make a post before I leave about how staging went. Past that point I have no idea about how often I'll be able to update this thing. But I should be able to get to a computer on a somewhat regular basis either at my school or when I travel to bigger cities like Douala or Yaounde.

My email is jrb.pcv@gmail.com and I'll try to respond to any emails as quickly as possible. I'd love to hear from you all as much as possible. Keep me updated on what's going on back home/with you guys/the Yankees/Brangelina.

Also I'm bringing a digital camera with me and I'll try and link to any pictures I take on here as well once I get that all working.

Cheers,
Jim

PS - Important assignment for all of you. Any time you see a decent movie in the next 27 months, either shoot me an email about it or leave it on here via comment. I swear to god I'm near suicide knowing I'm missing out on stuff like The Dark Knight or Burn After Reading. It's up to you all to make sure I know exactly what I need to check out as soon as I get back.