Friday, October 3, 2008

So I'm naked in my front yard, right...

That should grab your attention. Let me explain. You know how phone booths are really tight and cramped? Well you could fit roughly three of my bathrooms in there. Additionally, I have no running water, so I have to bathe out of a bucket. This involves splashing water all over myself... and the walls... and the sink... and the toilet (which I pretty much have to stand inside). Oh, and did I mention the drain on the floor doesn't so much live up to its name?

As a result of all these comforts, I've taken to showering outside in my yard. Its actually really nice. I have a 10 foot wall that gives me privacy. When its nice out, I can see the mountains over the wall and since I usually shower later in the day I get to watch the sunset. And when its raining, it's almost like I'm taking a real, honest-to-goodness shower. Almost.

So anyway, I fill up my bucket out of the giant barrel I use to collect rain water. Keep in mind I use this water for everything: flushing my toilet, washing my clothes, washing my dishes, showering, and after filtering it I even drink the stuff.

So I'm having a hell of a time lathering up and singing Miley Cyrus, when I spy a sticker near the bottom of the barrel that I'd never noticed before. In big bold letters, above a picture of a fish with Xs in his eyes, it reads: MARINE POLLUTANT.

Some things you just have to laugh at. Certainly, that barrel has been in my yards for years and it's perfectly safe, but honestly, what is it with me and showers in this country? On the bright side, the sixth finger I've started growing has really upped my words-per-minute at the cyber cafe.

4 comments:

knight490 said...

do you have the capabilities to make a tshirt design of a magic 8 ball witht he fortune thing coming up with either brandon tate's face or some cool brandon tate saying? i think we need to do a new jackie manuel has a posse

Christopher said...

Marine Pollutant would be a cool band name.

Dad said...

Hey Jim,

It's a 1130pm and I'm watching the Giants get crushed by the Brownies...Eli's has thrown 3 picks - one for a TD (of course) and defense is playing atrocious - where's Jessie(i.e. me) Armstead when you need him....

Dad

dabjrb said...

Check your email!!!!!


Love, Mom